Hey, fellow mom. I see you standing there in your sweats, hair pulled into a messy bun with that ugly bill in your hand. You went in for an oil change and came out with a new carburetor on the van. The x-ray for your kiddo’s broken arm is nearly the cost of your mortgage. Why did the water bill go up again? And goodness—insurance is due next month. How did six months go that fast?

You tell yourself it’s just money and everything will work out, but the familiar nagging thought prickles your mind: How are we gonna afford this? Your heart thumps, stomach roils. Maybe, even, your hands shake.

The truth is, from diapers to braces to driver’s licenses . . . it’s not cheap raising a family. Even “sale” prices in most places give you sticker shock. That’s why you’re a secondhand mom.

When the kid complains their shoes don’t fit, it’s okay because you know every good thrift store and consignment shop in a 20-mile radius. You should have a bumper sticker that reads “I brake and U-turn for yard sales.”

Your Facebook Marketplace and Offer Up feeds are tailored to your search preferences. And when your friend offers you a trash bag full of hand-me-downs, you are a resounding yes!

It’s hard to explain why there’s magic in things that get a second (or third or fourth) life. Maybe it’s because you’re keeping perfectly good things from landfills. Or you remember someone you love wearing them when they were ittie-bittier. Or maybe, the things are grateful in their own inanimate way, like characters you’ve read about in the most endearing children’s stories. Perhaps you simply believe everything (except lice and germs) are better shared.

Regardless of your why, you feel proud of your secondhand achievements. You find yourself bragging to your thrifty friends about this deal, or that. You delight in knowing the “bucko bucks” have been saved, and your kids really aren’t dressed too shabby! No one would suspect their clothes didn’t at least come from Target. (except for those days when they adorn themselves in a decoupage of mismatched patterns paired with the hand-me-down clogs three sizes too big. But that’s childhood, right?)

With a little searching, you can always find a great, barely-used pair of shoes. Maybe even, score some new-in-the-box Nike high tops from the neighbor’s moving sale a cool $15 bucks.

The beautiful thing about secondhand mom life . . .  your kids learn how to find treasure troves in the most unexpected places. They learn to think outside the department store box, and be sensible and economical in their spending. And also, to appreciate and give life to discarded, forgotten things.

In a way, secondhand mamas, you are the nursery fairy who fills their closets with Velveteen Rabbits hoping to be needed again. And for that, your children know your love is real.