Cupid’s arrow hits the mark with moist and delicious Red Velvet with Love Cupcakes. The vibrant red goodies are fun for kids and adults alike to make, decorate and eat.

Creative cupcakes like these have endless possibilities with Valentine’s tips and techniques from Wilton. Themed baking cups coordinate with colorful sprinkles, icing decorations and party picks to make it easy to decorate a gift from the heart.

Dress up cupcakes using a pink, red and white palette. Create cute and quick love monsters by piping icing to make the nose, mouth and fur, and then attach candy eyeballs, and heart-shaped picks for ears. Other decorating options include wrapping cupcakes in foil cups for an elegant effect, or finishing with colored sugars and sprinkles. You can even write special messages on them.

After decorating, package cupcakes in a festive box adorned with ribbon and bows for a treat that’s sure to tie a heart in knots.

For more Valentine’s Day celebration ideas, visit www.wilton.com.

Red Velvet with Love Cupcakes

Valentine Standard or Mini Baking Cups, Heart Eyelet Baking Cups, Cupcake-N-Pix Combo or Heart Silicone Baking Cups

2-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine, softened
1-1/2 cups granulated sugar
2 eggs
1-1/2 teaspoons No-Taste Red Icing Color
1 teaspoon Imitation Clear Vanilla Extract
1 cup buttermilk
2 tablespoons water
1-1/2 teaspoons white vinegar
1 teaspoon baking soda
Buttercream Icing
Red, Rose and Black Icing Color
Red Foil Swirls Cupcake Wraps
Valentine Sprinkles, Jumbo Hearts Sprinkles, Heart Icing Decorations, Rose Icing Decorations, Candy Eyeballs

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Line muffin pan with baking cups or set silicone cups on cookie sheet and spray with vegetable pan spray.

In medium bowl, combine flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt; set aside. In large bowl, cream butter and sugar with electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add eggs, red icing color and vanilla extract; mix well until icing color is well incorporated. Alternately add flour mixture and buttermilk; add water and mix well. In a small bowl, combine white vinegar and baking soda; gently stir into cupcake mixture. Distribute cupcake batter evenly in cups.

Bake 20-22 minutes for standard cupcakes, 10-12 minutes for mini cupcakes, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool cupcakes completely.

For Love Monster Cupcakes, use tip 18 and rose icing to pipe pull-out stars on cupcake tops.  Add candy eyeballs with dots of icing.  Add tip 10 red icing dot nose. Use tip 4 and black icing to pipe dot pupils and outline mouth.  Position heart picks.

For Other Cupcakes, spatula ice cupcake smooth or top with tip 22 mini cupcake icing swirl or tip 1M standard cupcake icing swirl.  If desired, place in cupcake wraps. Top with desired sprinkles or icing decorations or add tip 4 message.

Makes about 20 standard cupcakes; 4 dozen minis.

Gabby, 14, made a resolution to change “everything” this year, asking “Why live if you don’t move forward?”

Like Gabby, lots of people set goals and make changes. It’s all part of the process of self-discovery. But deciding on a goal or something that needs changing is the easy part. The hard part is all the work that goes into getting there.

We heard from 900 people ages 13-18. More than three quarters (77%) made New Year’s resolutions on everything from losing weight to learning the banjo. And almost all of them say they are doing really well at sticking to their goals.
Here’s more on what our survey revealed.

Most Common Goals
We gave our survey-takers examples of some common types of resolutions and asked if their resolutions fit into these categories.

Here’s how the goals we asked about ranked in popularity:

1.  Lose weight.
2.   Do something for personal development (e.g., learn a new skill or hobby, overcome shyness, be nicer to others).
3.   Do better in school.
4.   Get more exercise.
5.   Kick a bad habit (e.g., smoking or cutting).

Making It Happen . . .
To reach a goal, it helps to have a plan with specific steps. It also helps to tell your goal to someone you trust — supportive friends and family come in very handy for those times when your willpower’s doing a couch potato act.
But do people really make plans and ask for support? Or do they just wing it? Our survey says it’s a bit of both: 55% of our survey-takers said they made specific plans, but 45% said they just let things happen. And while 49% shared their resolution with someone else, 51% preferred to keep it private.

The people who do plan and share their goals gave us lots of tips on making it work.  For example:

1.  Kyla, 13, says, “I make plans about eating and exercising, and I plan what I am going to do when I reach my desired weight. I encourage myself every day.”
2. Anne, 16, says, “I look at a sheet of paper where I have written down all of my dreams.”
3. Sarah, 14, says, “I make a list because I like to tick things off when I get them done, and I feel guilty when I’m not able to tick them off, so it keeps me on track.”
4. Liliana, 15, says, “I talk to my family about it — it really works!”
5. Jasmine, 17, says, “I go to the gym with my sister.”
6. 6. Kaylee, 14, says she gets support from “talking to my boyfriend and him telling me that he is really proud of me.”

The people who love you can help you stick with a goal or make a change. But what about the people who just pretend to care? Ondrea, 13, says, “Friends can also be a bad influence.” She told us she needs to stay away from the people she hung out with last year if she’s going to keep her resolution.

. . . or Not
It can be tough to stick with a goal for a long time, especially when you don’t have the right support. Of the people in our survey who gave up on their resolutions, most (39%) said it was because they couldn’t get motivated to do it. Motivation is complicated, but identifying the reasons you want to make the change is one necessary part of getting motivated. Your reasons for making the change need to be at least as strong as the effort you’ll need to put in.

The fact that so many people give up on resolutions is one reason why 23% of our survey-takers said they don’t make any resolutions at all. “I wouldn’t be able to keep the resolution, I never do,” says Maritza, 18.

Staying Positive
Although some people do give up, our survey shows that most of you definitely are not quitters. An impressive 92% of our survey-takers are still on target to meet their goals.

What’s even more impressive is that more than a third of them say they slipped up but then got back on track again. That’s hard to do. When people stray from their goals, it’s tempting to give up altogether. But slip-ups are actually part of the learning process. Congratulations to everyone who recognized this and recommitted to their resolution!

Thinking positively helps people achieve goals. Optimism brings success. And success in turn can help people stay motivated to keep going. Tiffany, 17, made a resolution to get more exercise because she was feeling out of shape. She told us, “After 1 week of staying on track, I realized I felt energized, slept better, and my confidence went up.” Tiffany is very confident that she will continue exercising.

Angie, 13, says, “My friends help me keep my mind off junk foods. Since they know I’m not eating them anymore they watch what I eat. But, honestly, I don’t crave junk food anymore.”

Staying Motivated
Recognizing and enjoying small successes is one motivator for people who are trying to stick with a resolution.

Here are some of the other things that keep our readers going:
A little competitive spirit works for Yusra, 13, who told us, “I play soccer a lot with my friends and that motivates me, especially when I’m losing.  Also, I play with my dad and his friends and they are really big and strong so that also drives me to do better when I play with them.”
Nick, 14, is already good at football. He could stop there, but he wants to push himself to get even better. To improve his skills he says, “I watch my old tapes every day.”
Brigid, 15, made a resolution to get into her school’s spring musical. “Since this is my first year in high school, it was harder to get in,” she said. “I practiced my audition piece a lot and did my best at the tryouts.” Brigid’s work paid off, and she was able to tell us, “I made it!”
Amanda, 15, told us, “When I saw my last grade report it had a C on it. It made me upset because I didn’t try as hard as I could have. To stay motivated and inspired I just keep looking back on that grade report and say to myself, ‘I know I can do better than that.’ ”

Taking inspiration from someone or something else also helps many of you. Lots of readers talked about looking up to someone they knew who had accomplished a goal. One 13-year-old girl who wants to lose weight to manage her diabetes told us, “I picture my aunt because she had diabetes and did it, so I can do it too.”
Another 13-year-old who is trying to overcome a cutting problem told us, “Cutting is a bad habit that is hard to break. I try to think about what my school guidance counselor told me and how much my teachers and counselor care.”

When Times Are Tough
A number of you made resolutions to help overcome serious difficulties. Some of the people who took our survey said they had been hospitalized for depression, eating disorders, and even attempted suicide. One 14-year-old told us that she is motivated to work through her problems because “I don’t want to end up back in the hospital or dead.”

If things are really tough, making a resolution to change often isn’t enough. It can be hard to stay motivated when you’re doing it alone. People with serious problems need help from friends and family. Fortunately, lots of you get it.

Dana and Tina (not their real names) are two 14-year-old friends who wrote to share their experience. Dana told us her resolution is to “keep helping my friend [Tina] in rehab for an eating disorder and to get her out and keep her healthy when she is ready.”

Tina told us how it happened. “I had a really bad smoking and drinking habit, and I suffer from an eating disorder. I decided I wanted to become healthy, but it was hard so I stopped trying and kept starving myself and smoking and drinking. But it was my best friend who caught me forcing myself to throw up.”

“I caught her outside puking purposely,” Dana told us. “I convinced her life was ticking away like a timer, and she said she needed help. So I told her parents and now instead of shopping I spend money going to see her [in rehab]. I think [she] appreciates it.”

“She is my life saver,” says Tina. “Thanks to her I have already achieved one step in my goal. I admitted I have a problem and got help.”

If you’re struggling with some heavy problems, admitting them and reaching out to a friend for help is the first step to recovery. Sometimes friends even see problems before the person is ready to recognize them. If you’re feeling too depressed or down on yourself that you can’t even get motivated to change, talk to someone. And listen when a friend like Dana gets up the nerve to talk to you about your troubles.

Focus on Accomplishments, Not Failures
If you’ve made a resolution that’s a struggle to keep, it can help to focus on the little things that you achieve, rather than thinking about what you’ve done wrong or when you’ve slipped up.

Tell yourself how much better you feel. Like Ariel, 14, who says, “I think of how much healthier I’m eating and how eating an apple instead of a piece of cake makes you feel better.” Or Alexis, 13, who says, “When I cut down ‘media’ time and go for a run, the gym, or play outside, I feel refreshed, and healthy.”

Give yourself rewards, like Anna, 13, who stays motivated to get schoolwork and studying done because “afterwards I can use the Internet and watch TV.”

Most of all, take it easy on yourself. “Just take it one day at a time, then a week, then a month — and then it will be a year!” says Katherine, 13.

Change Comes More than Once a Year
A new year isn’t the only time to make a change for the better. In fact, quite a few people told us they make resolutions anytime they feel like it.
Tanya, 15, says, “I believe that people can make a resolution and change their life any day of the year if they want, it doesn’t have to be on New Year’s.”

Jamie, 16, says, “I’m continually making goals. When I need to make a change, I do it — I won’t wait for a new year to make my life different.”

Mary Kate, 13, says, “It feels more like a new year in September when I start a new school year and everything is different.”

So if you think you’d like to make a change, why not make a prom season, summer vacation, back-to-school, or other resolution?

And if you’re happy with how things are at the moment and can’t think of anything you want to work on, celebrate yourself! Like Arielle, 13, who told us, “I didn’t make a New Year’s resolution because I am happy how my life is set and I don’t think I need to change anything.”

Reviewed by:  D’Arcy Lyness, PhD

This information was provided by KidsHealth®, one of the largest resources online for medically reviewed health information written for parents, kids, and teens. For more articles like this, visit KidsHealth.org or TeensHealth.org™. 1995- 2011 . The Nemours Foundation/KidsHealth®. All rights reserved.

“Making and sharing cookies can really be a gift from the heart,” says Ima. “That’s what ‘The Treats Truck’ is all about – sharing a little of myself through my fresh-baked treats. It really is one of the greatest ways to connect with people.”

McCormick and Ima share some simple tips for making holiday cookies extra-special:

• Fantastic Flavor Combinations – Certain flavor match-ups are real winners around the holidays. Cinnamon and ginger are comforting holiday classics, while a splash of peppermint extract adds a surprising hint of refreshment.
• Dress it Up – Spruce up versatile, go-to recipes like Spiced Holiday Sugar Cookies with seasonal flavors and creative decorations. Add a hint of almond extract to deepen the flavor, or play with festive cookie cutters and colorful frosting.
• Gift It – In a mason jar, combine pre-measured spices, seasonings and other dry ingredients for a homemade “cookie mix.” With a strip of ribbon, attach a recipe card with baking and decorating tips.

To capture the magic of holiday cookie-baking virtually, McCormick is helping bakers share their own delicious gifts from the heart in “The Big Cookie Share” at www.Facebook.com/McCormickSpice. After choosing a signature cookie recipe and customizing it with their own flavor twists, McCormick fans will receive an e-cookie to share with Facebook friends – complete with a frosted holiday message – and the accompanying recipe to bake up a batch at home.

Spiced Holiday Sugar Cookies

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 8 to 10 minutes per batch
Refrigerate: 2 hours

2 1/3 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon McCormick Ground Cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon McCormick Ground Nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
1 egg
2 teaspoons McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract

Colorful Cookie Icing:
1 cup confectioners’ sugar
3 to 4 teaspoons milk
1/2 teaspoon McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract
3 to 4 drops McCormick Assorted Food Colors and Egg Dye

1. Mix flour, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt in medium bowl. Set aside. Beat granulated sugar and butter in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add egg and vanilla; mix well. Gradually beat in flour mixture on low speed until well mixed. Refrigerate dough 2 hours or overnight until firm.

1. Roll out dough on lightly floured surface to 1/8-inch thickness. Cut into shapes with cookie cutters. Place on greased baking sheets.

1. Bake in preheated 375°F oven 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool on baking sheets 1 minute. Remove to wire racks; cool completely.

1. For the icing, mix all ingredients except food colors. (Stir in additional milk as needed to thin icing or more confectioners’ sugar to thicken, if needed.) Place small amount of icing into small shallow bowls, using one bowl for each color desired. Stir drops of food coloring into icing until desired shade is reached.

1. To ice cookies, hold cookie by its edge and dip top of cookie into icing. (Or spoon icing onto cookie using a teaspoon.) Place iced cookies on wire rack set over foil-covered baking sheet to dry. (The foil-covered baking sheet will catch drips.) To add decorative details to cookies, spoon tinted icing into resealable plastic bag. Snip off tiny piece of corner. Squeeze icing through hole in plastic bag to decorate cookies. If desired, colored sugar may be sprinkled onto freshly iced cookies.

Makes 6 dozen or 24 (3 cookie) servings.

Test Kitchen Tip: Mix 1/4 cup flour and 1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar to use for dusting surface.

Nutrition Information Per Serving: 184 Calories, Fat 8g, Carbohydrates 26g, Cholesterol 29mg, Sodium 137mg, Fiber 0g, Protein 2g

Arts and Crafts Ideas
With the most soft cotton at the tip*, Q-tips cotton swabs are gentle and safe for baby care and pet care; great for cleaning nooks and crannies in the house and for fixing makeup mishaps. They can also be used in a variety of craft projects. Use them to:

• Replace expensive paint brushes. Perfectly-sized for children’s small hands, you can use a different cotton swab for each color and simply toss when finished.
• Apply glue to small areas on models and crafts. Use one tip to apply the glue and the other to remove any excess glue before it dries.
• Carve detailed designs into pottery. Moisten the tool to put the finishing touches on sculptures.
• Touch-up hard-to-reach areas on freshly painted model airplanes and cars – or even dollhouses.

Have fun with your family making this adorable snowman that’s simple for children to create with a little help from mom or dad.

Cheery Snowman

Skill Level: Intermediate
Prep Time: 2 hours
Dry Time: 30 minutes

Materials:
1 Standard pack (500-count) of Q-tips cotton swabs
3 Styrofoam balls; 1 large, 1 medium, 1 small, (no smaller than 2 inches in diameter)
1 brown pipe cleaner
1 sheet wax paper
1 Popsicle stick or floral stake
Child-safe scissors
Child-safe, non-toxic black paint
Child-safe, non-toxic orange paint

Have an adult cut the bottom off the largest Styrofoam ball, so the piece can lay flat upon a table or surface.

Using a Popsiclestick or floral stake, stack all three Styrofoam balls from largest at the bottom, to smallest at the top to form one standing figure.

Fold and twist 5 cotton swabs in half; dip 9 halves into the black paint and 1 into the orange paint. Lay flat on wax paper to dry.

Cut pipe cleaner in half; insert into sides of middle Styrofoam ball as arms.

Begin folding cotton swabs; insert into foam balls until completely covered.

Insert black cotton swabs into top ball for coal eyes and mouth. Insert orange cotton swab as the carrot nose.

Find step-by-step photos for this project, additional kid-friendly crafting ideas and household tips at www.qtips.com. Or, share your own tips or craft ideas at www.Facebook.com/qtips.

*From the end of the stick to the top of the swab.

The good news is, you don’t have to completely abandon what you know – traditions can be easily evolved into something suitable for you and your loved ones.

A recent Bing survey revealed that shaking up holiday traditions is on the minds of many this year. In fact, a major life change – such as marriage or a new baby – is the most popular reason (33 percent), with a change in financial situation coming in a close second (30 percent). No matter your reasoning, if you’re looking to create new ways to celebrate and entertain this holiday, Bing’s lifestyle expert, Karin Muskopf, offers tips for how you can do just that:

Create Your Own Holiday

The holidays are one of the busiest party seasons of the year, and it can be tricky to get everyone together on one specific day. If you’re looking to entertain, use Bing.com to help find ideas and inspiration on how to create your own special day, think outside the box and borrow festive ideas from others.

“To me, it’s less important what day of the year it is,” said Muskopf, “and it’s more about being together with good food and lots of laughs.”

If you can’t get everyone together at the same time, consider several mini celebrations throughout the season. Or, host an “Eve Before the Eve” party – celebrating the day before the actual holiday so people can either squeeze in an extra special day with family and friends or simply relax.

To keep things interesting, start a new tradition with a competitive twist. “Our annual holiday party has turned into a highly anticipated event – Pie Night,” Muskopf said.

“Each guest bakes his/her own pie to bring to the party for a taste test. Everyone samples a piece of each pie, and we award the ‘Most Delicious,’ ‘Most Festive’ and ‘Most Fattening’ titles in a hilarious ceremony.”

However you do it, celebrating together on an off-day creates a memorable experience and a unique bond for all those involved.

Spice Up the Holiday Meal

If you’re like many, you’ve got a few favorite holiday recipes up your sleeve. Holiday meals present a special opportunity to leave a lasting, happy holiday memory with your guests. Here are some fun, delicious ways to enjoy holiday feasting:

-Make it a potluck - Rather than burden one family member with all the cooking duties, have everyone bring their own specialty to the table, and ask everyone to bring copies of their recipe to share. Everyone will go home with a full stomach and a delicious keepsake for holidays to come.

-Serve healthier options - “My mom’s classic holiday recipes are comforting and delicious, but often come with loads of extra calories and fat,” said Muskopf. “These days, it’s so easy to tweak recipes so they still taste like home but won’t leave you five pounds heavier come February.”

For more ideas and inspiration on tweaking old traditions, creating new ones and making this holiday all your own, go to www.Bing.com.

Photo courtesy of Getty Images

For more holiday tips and recipes, visit www.CampbellsKitchen.com.

Herb Roasted Turkey with Pan Gravy

Prep: 15 minutes
Roast: 3 hours
Cook: 10 minutes
Makes: 12 servings

1 turkey (12 to 14 pounds)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 carton (26 ounces) Swanson
Chicken Stock (Regular or
Unsalted) (about 3 1/4 cups)
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon dried basil leaves, crushed
1 teaspoon dried thyme leaves,
crushed 1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1. Remove giblets and neck from turkey cavity. Rinse turkey with cold water and pat dry with paper towel. Tie ends of drumsticks together.

2. Place turkey, breast-side up, on rack in roasting pan. Brush turkey with oil. Insert meat thermometer into thickest part of meat, not touching bone.

3. Stir stock, lemon juice, basil, thyme and black pepper in large bowl. Reserve 1 3/4 cups stock mixture for the gravy. Pour remaining stock mixture over turkey.

4. Roast at 325°F for 3 hours, or until thermometer reads 165°F, basting occasionally with pan drippings. Begin checking for doneness after 2 1/2 hours roasting time.

5. Remove turkey from pan, cover and keep warm. Spoon off any fat and pour off all but 1 1/2 cups pan drippings.

6. Stir reserved stock mixture and flour in medium bowl until the mixture is smooth. Add flour mixture to the pan. Cook and stir over medium heat until mixture boils and thickens, scraping up browned bits from bottom of pan. Serve gravy with turkey.

Green Bean Casserole

Prep: 10 minutes
Bake: 30 minutes
Makes: 12 servings

2 cans (10 3/4 ounces each)
Campbell’s Condensed
Cream of Mushroom
Soup (Regular,98% Fat Free or Healthy Request)
1 cup milk
2 teaspoons soy sauce
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
8 cups cooked cut green beans
2 2/3 cups French’s French Fried Onions

1. Stir soup, milk, soy sauce, black pepper, beans and 1 1/3 cups onions in 3-quart casserole.

2. Bake at 350°F for 25 minutes or until bean mixture is hot and bubbling. Stir bean mixture. Sprinkle with remaining onions.

3. Bake for 5 minutes or until onions are golden brown.

Ultra Creamy Mashed Potatoes

Prep: 15 minutes
Cook: 20 minutes
Makes: 6 servings

3 1/2 cups Swanson Chicken Broth
(Regular, Natural Goodness or Certified Organic)
5 large potatoes (about 2 1/2 pounds), peeled and cut into 1-inch pieces (about 7 1/2 cups)
1/2 cup light cream
2 tablespoons butter
Generous dash ground black pepper
1 can (14.5 ounces) Campbell’s Turkey Gravy, heated according to package directions

1. Heat broth and potatoes in a 3-quart saucepan over medium-high heat to a boil.

2. Reduce heat to medium. Cover and cook for 10 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Drain potatoes well in colander, reserving broth.

3. Mash potatoes with 1/4 cup reserved broth, cream, butter and black pepper. Add additional reserved broth, if needed, until desired consistency. Serve with gravy.

Moist and Savory Stuffing

Prep: 10 minutes
Cook: 10 minutes
Bake: 30 minutes
Makes: 10 servings
2 1/2 cups Swanson Chicken Broth (Regular, Natural Goodness or Certified Organic)
Generous dash ground black pepper
2 stalks celery, coarsely chopped (about 1 cup)
1 large onion, coarsely chopped
(about 1 cup)
1 package (14 ounces) Pepperidge
Farm Herb Seasoned Stuffing

1. Heat broth, black pepper, celery and onion in 3-quart saucepan over medium-high heat to a boil. Reduce heat to low. Cover and cook for 5 minutes or until vegetables are tender, stirring often. Remove saucepan from heat. Add stuffing and mix lightly.

2. Spoon stuffing mixture into a greased 3-quart shallow baking dish. Cover baking dish.

3. Bake at 350°F for 30 minutes or until stuffing mixture is hot. For crunchier stuffing, bake uncovered.

Don’t fret about what’s left!

Want to make leftovers seem a little less left over? Plan ahead by stocking your kitchen with the basics — eggs, milk, cheese, bread, canned soup and broth. This French Onion Turkey Casserole, made with Campbell’s Condensed French Onion Soup, is a welcome departure from the standard hot turkey sandwich, and uses ingredients many people already have on-hand.

French Onion Turkey Casserole

Prep: 20 minutes
Bake: 45 minutes
Makes: 8 servings

Vegetable cooking spray
6 eggs
1 can (10 1/2 ounces) Campbell’s
Condensed French Onion Soup
2 cups milk
1 cup shredded Swiss cheese (about 4 ounces)
2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme leaves or 2 teaspoons dried thyme leaves, crushed
9 slices Pepperidge Farm Farmhouse Hearty White Bread, cut into cubes
2 cups shredded or cubed cooked turkey

1. Heat oven to 350°F. Spray 2-quart shallow baking dish with cooking spray.

2. Beat eggs, soup, milk, 1/2 cup cheese and 1 tablespoon thyme in large bowl with fork or whisk. Add bread cubes and turkey. Stir and press bread cubes into milk mixture to coat.

3. Pour bread mixture into baking dish. Sprinkle with remaining cheese and thyme. Let stand for 15 minutes.

4. Bake for 45 minutes or until a knife inserted in center comes out clean.

Life with a tween/teenager around can be completely unbalancing. Though they are often unwilling to admit it, tweens/teenagers are simply bigger children with raging hormones, larger appetites and the seemingly ever-present know-it-all attitude. The attitude is one parents have seen before, but have merely conveniently forgotten. It’s the same one that made them proclaim at two and three years old, NO! I DO IT!” It’s just voiced with a bit more attitude and at probably higher decibels, when “teenagerdom” rears its head. Unfortunately, for some parents, this scenario begins when their child hits those between years, currently called “tweens.”

They love you one minute, and the next don’t want you in the same zip code! How can a parent prepare them for life as an adult, with adult responsibilities while still managing to keep them safe? Today’s real world is a lot more complicated and society is more aware of everyday dangers. What’s a loving parent to do?

Independence the Catch 22

How much independence is too much? How can you balance the desire to keep them protected with the need to let them get out and explore? What do you do with a child who feels safe and secure and doesn’t want to venture out of the nest? Just how do you know it’s time to “cut the umbilical cord” or when to reel them back in?

So much depends on the child, the parents, social and societal influences. This is a case when each of these factors can weigh heavily in how much freedom is allowed, and exactly which activities need to be supervised or restricted. Children have a knack for finding ways to get into trouble, especially when in a group. However, this is often the compromise parents reach with their children. They are allowed to go out in groups for safety, but it this ideal?

How to Decide?

So much of this depends on guidance. Have you prepared your child for the real world? Do they know about the dangers of talking to strangers, accepting anything from someone they do not know, following someone because they “look” normal, not to mention the typical dangers of promiscuity, drugs, and alcohol? While children need independence, they should be well-informed of things they may encounter in advance. They should know about the dangers and lure of “forbidden” temptations. They should also know about the consequences of what can occur from not following the rules established by parents and society.

One thing parents must realize is that a child’s personality is a key factor in his or her quest for independence. Does your teen tend to do what he is told or does he tend to be unreliable? If he’s chronically irresponsible, he should have to earn the right for independence. Independence is all about trust. If you can’t trust him to clean his room, or come home straight from school, he can’t expect you to allow him more responsibility. On the other hand, if a child is honest, reliable and responsible, a parent will be more apt to allow him/her more freedom, at least in controlled environments.

Not only must the child be responsible and reliable, but she must also be honest, have integrity and be respectful of herself and others. Groups of unruly children can often be found on the streets of any town across the country. Complete and utter disregard for rules and others is typically at the root of most of society’s ills. Help your tween/teen understand they should not be contributing to the demise of society, but to its resurgence.

Make sure you can communicate with your tween or teen. It’s okay for them to think you know nothing, but they must realize they can come to you with any issues they may have for advice, support, and encouragement. They must recognize that you’re the parent, and you’re ultimately their ally, even if they want to pretend to ignore you most of the time.

In the book Boundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children, Dr. Henry Cloud makes a keen observation, “We parent in the present, without thinking about the future.” Parents should remember that it’s what has been taught to children to this point that will shape how they handle their freedom.

Preparing your Tween/Teenager for More Responsibility

Let your tween know what to expect. Let her know that it’s normal to want to pull away from parents during these years, and you still love her. Let him know that independence is the ultimate personal responsibility, and what he can do to make it a possibility.

• Let her know that independence is all about trust, and trust must be earned and retained. Allow her to demonstrate that she can follow established rules.

• He must show you he can handle situations that may arise with a level head, or when caught in a potentially tricky situation, he can quickly find and ask for help, if needed.

• Know who your tween is socializing with, both in person and online. Get to know his friends and his friends’ parents.

• If you feel comfortable, let your tween venture out with a responsible older sibling for a bike ride, or rollerblading with their friends. That way supervision is present, but it’s just not a parent.

• If the idea of letting your tween venture out and about the neighborhood is uncomfortable, try a group activity. Many businesses are catering to the times by staging “lock-ins”, an environment where groups are locked in for sleepovers at museum, zoos, laser tag facilities, dance studios, etc. Again, supervision is present, but it’s typically not provided by a parent.

• Perhaps find things for your tween or teen to do with other kids their age being chaperoned by someone you trust – who is NOT you. That may be the compromise you’re looking for. Let your kids go places with their friends’ parents, or a fun aunt or uncle as the designated driver – as long as you know and trust them. Rotate this out with other parents to give each of you a chance to let your child(ren) grow.

• Start small. Perhaps, you can begin by leaving your child at his activities while you run errands, or ask another parent to drop him off at home. This provides a bit of freedom that can be expanded as maturity and comfort levels increase.

• In a situation where safety may be a factor, like navigating public transportation, or the first few solo trips to and from school or the bus stop, follow your child. Make sure they can make from point A to point B on their own until you both feel comfortable. Don’t be sneaky. Let him/her know you will be “around,” keeping an eye on him/her in case you are needed.

Children are precious, no matter what age they are. It’s up to parents to keep them safe, but also up to parents to make sure they can reach their full potential as individuals and as productive members of society. Independence and responsibility are important personal characteristics.

Despite the societal challenges parents face, there are ways to balance freedom and safety. Parents should remember each child is unique and will develop and grow at his or her own pace. Stay present and realistically gauge maturity levels versus desires, to determine what to approve. Above all else, parents should trust their instincts.

Kim Green-Spangler, B.S. Ed and M.S. Eng, is a freelance writer, wife and mother. Her niche is writing articles pertaining to family life, health, fitness, parenting and home based businesses. She may be contacted at www.justwrite4u.com.

Gather ghouls and boys for a Halloween spread of spooktacular goodies and graveyard fun:

* Make it a BOO-fet, setting the table for serve-yourself ease.

* Finger foods make it easy: deviled eggs, crackers and cheese, veggie dippers and favorite dips, Spiderweb Munch and Easy Halloween Cookie Cups.

* Blow up orange balloons, and offer felt-tip markers for guests to decorate as jack-o-lanterns.

Frighteningly good ideas for tricks, treats and eats are at your fingertips: www.VeryBestBaking.com.

Easy Halloween Cookie Cups
Makes 2 dozen cookie cups

1 package (16.5 ounces) NestlÈ Toll House Refrigerated Chocolate Chip Cookie Bar Dough
1 cup (6 ounces) NestlÈ Toll House Swirled Milk Chocolate & Peanut Butter
Morsels

PREHEAT oven to 350∞F. Grease 24 mini-muffin cups.

PLACE squares of dough into prepared muffin cups; press down to make a deep well.

BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until edges are set. Remove from oven to wire rack(s). While still warm, fill cookie cups with morsels. Morsels will soften and retain their shape. Cool completely. With tip of knife, remove cookie cups from muffin pan(s).

* NOTE: 1 cup (6 ounces) of any flavor NestlÈ Toll House morsels can be substituted for the Swirled Milk Chocolate & Peanut Butter Morsels.

Nutrition Information per cookie cup: 120 calories; 50 calories from fat; 6 g total fat; 3 g saturated fat; 0g trans fat; 10 mg cholesterol; 85 mg sodium; 17 g carbohydrate; 0 g fiber; 12 g sugars; 1 g protein

Spiderweb Munch
Makes 12 servings

2 cups (12-ounce package) NestlÈ Toll House Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels
1 cup creamy peanut butter, divided
1/3 cup powdered sugar
3 cups toasted rice cereal

HEAT morsels and 3/4 cup peanut butter in small, heavy-duty saucepan over low heat, stirring constantly until smooth; remove from heat. Add sugar; stir vigorously until smooth.

PLACE cereal in large bowl. Add 1 cup melted chocolate mixture; stir until evenly coated. Place on ungreased baking sheet. Using small metal spatula, shape into 10-inch circle with slightly raised 1-inch-wide border. Pour remaining chocolate mixture in center of circle; spread to border.

FOR SPIDERWEB:

PLACE remaining peanut butter in small, heavy-duty plastic bag. Cut tiny corner from bag; squeeze to pipe concentric circles on top of chocolate. Using wooden pick or tip of sharp knife, pull tip through peanut butter from center to border. Refrigerate for 30 minutes or until firm. Cut into wedges.

Nutrition Information per serving: 320 calories; 170 calories from fat; 19 g total fat; 7 g saturated fat; 0g trans fat; 0 mg cholesterol; 150 mg sodium; 32 g carbohydrate; 3 g fiber; 19 g sugars; 7 g protein; 4% vitamin A; 8% vitamin C; 0% calcium; 15% DV iron

Jenny Harper is Consumer Test Kitchen Project Manager for the NestlÈ Test Kitchens and VeryBestBaking.com.

Photo courtesy of NestlÈ

Back then phones were built like anvils. So imagine my surprise when a big, black table-model phone came hurtling out of the heavens and hit me smack in the eye. Ding! They tell me it was a magnificent shiner.

The Telephone is still not my friend. Several decades after disfiguring me, it is now intent on devouring my children.

My wife and I have cell phones that seldom ring, and two of our daughters, ages 15 and 12, have cell phones that ring all the time. Every 10 minutes our house phone chirps, and it’s for the 8-year-old.

The most-disruptive calls come during supper. When the phone rings, our youngest daughter and I spring from the table as if someone has thrown a grenade under it. If I get to the phone first, I say, “She’s eating dinner right now. Call back in a half-hour if you must.”

When our oldest daughter Marie turned 12, we let her get her own cell phone to run her baby-sitting business more efficiently. What I didn’t realize is that at age 15 she would be spending most of her waking hours talking on the phone – hours that she used to spend reading books, doing homework or (believe it or not) hanging around with ME.

We’ll go to the library, pick out a movie to watch together, see a half-hour of it, then her phone will play a tinny snatch of music. Often it’s a pal who needs to be talked through a crisis. (Any teenager with four friends is sure to have at least one of them in crisis at any given time.) Or maybe it’s just another teenager with a couple hours to invest in sparkling conversation. In either case, our little date is over. It’s about the same with middle daughter Sally and her new cell phone.

So far I’ve denied requests from 8-year-old Wendy for her own cell phone.

“You let the big girls have their own phones, but not me. It’s not fair!” she says.

(Ever notice how one or two bad decisions calls for more just like it?)

“You’re too young and I’m too poor,” I reply, not even getting into the fairness aspect. (Fairness is just one of many factors to consider in this ugly business called parenting, and besides, 90 percent of life is unfair. That statistic was cited to me dozens of times by my dad, so I know it’s accurate.)

Wendy’s campaign has included a promise to limit herself to two hours of phone time on school nights. Acutely unpersuasive as that is, I tell her she can have her own phone when she’s 12.

But she might not have anything left to say by then. She seems to be always on our cordless house phone. She stays in touch with her best friend Justine as intently as the astronauts maintain contact with Mission Control in Houston. A couple of times I’ve caught her watching TV while sharing commentary over the phone with Justine who is watching the same show. Otherwise, Wendy likes to drift around the house blabbing into the phone that she holds to her ear with one hand, while with the other hand she conducts the normal business of childhood – feeding herself snacks, drawing pictures or fondling her hamster. Activities that would require two hands, such as making confetti, rowing a boat or rolling a cigarette, have to wait until she either hangs up or acquires a hands-free unit.

Family life and academics hang in tatters, shredded by the telephone – and not by the ominous black 3 pounder of my youth, but the jolly chirping toys of the 21st century.

Rick Epstein can be reached at rickepstein@yahoo.com. Please don’t call…

In generations past were children angry? Yes. However, it was more the exception than the rule. A mere couple of generations ago children were too afraid of the wrath of their parents and/or respected their parents too much to behave in this manner. Today it seems as though children who are not feeding into the angry, sullen, “misunderstood” role are the exceptions, and unfortunately difficult to find. What makes children behave this way? Is it society? Have parents become so accepting of this behavior as a form of rebellion, or the “rite of passage” into adulthood that it’s simply expected? Do children see this behavior in peers and adopt it as a means to fit in? Is it just a way to “get back at” parents, caregivers, authority figures or siblings?

There are many questions surrounding the anger issue, and while it seems to be pandemic, each child may be displaying this behavior as a unique expression of what is going on in his/her own life. Thus, each situation will be unique.

What is Anger?
Anger is just one of the many emotions humans experience. Just like an overabundance of anger is unhealthy, so is a lack of anger. Anger is an expression of displeasure. It is a natural feeling, but just like it is not expected that every experience will be enjoyable, it is also unrealistic for every situation to provide displeasure. Thus, anger should not be “on” 24-7. According to Anger.org, when anger occurs it’s impossible to think rationally because the body reacts so quickly, the mind just doesn’t stand a chance of catching up. Physically, the rapid heart rate and inability to catch one’s breath are the result of neurotransmitters and stress hormones racing through the body and brain. While someone immediately reacts to anger, the affects to the body take a long time to wane, sometimes days. That’s a long time to have your body be that amped up. Imagine the body being in that constantly. Anger can create serious health problems, and result in death if left to continue over a period of time.

How to Combat the Anger Issue
There are different schools of thought on how to address the anger issues. First and foremost, parents should try to determine why anger is present and being displayed in an inappropriate manner. Below are some possible reasons:

• Does it stem from a lack of communication?

• Are children being bullied and are reacting to treatment they are receiving?

• Are they trying to fit in by mimicking the actions and behaviors of their peers?

• Are they simply over tired due to busy schedules and being short-tempered?

• Do they have no time for true downtime between school, other activities, television, video games, hand held devices, and cell phones?

• Is anger an emotion they often see in adults and they are just modeling that behavior?

• Is there a food/chemical imbalance that manifests as anger?

• Is there a mental problem or family history that could be the cause?

• Are children missing time to interact with parents?

• Have children learned how to voice their anger instead of demonstrate their frustration?

• Do they know that and understand that anger is healthy, but tantrums are not tolerated by your family?

According to psychologist Dr. Randy Cole, children can be legitimately angry, but parents have to let them know they are responsible for their anger, and will be held accountable for their inappropriate displays of temper. For example, if a child is upset and takes his/her bad temper out on someone, the child will not be encouraged to continue the behavior. Unwittingly, adults and others often feed into the anger cycle by providing fuel to the anger fire. They ask what is wrong, argue with the person wallowing in their anger, or lose patience with the individual and the situation escalates. Dr. Cole suggests completely ignoring the person to let them know the behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

Offer an alternative to anger.  Develop parameters for what is acceptable, how and where anger can be displayed. Let it be known anger is a normal and acceptable reaction, but I should not be taken out on others, violence should not result, and it can be more therapeutic than destructive. Other outlets should be explored.

Look to who may be influencing the anger behavior and either work on helping the instigator diffuse their issues, or help the child limit interactions with the person(s). Get them out of the “group think” situation and help them rewire their brains. Help them learn to be happy, enjoy new experiences, and seek out situations that are not negative and will not feed into the anger mode. It’s hard to be angry when you’re having fun, or spending time with people you truly enjoy.
Seek the assistance of a medical professional. Sometimes children need to discuss something, but they feel their parents simply will not understand, or approve. This can result in anger or bitterness towards parents; when a child feels they cannot turn to their parents for advice. Additionally, a medical professional can determine if there is more to the anger issue than what may be perceived.

Healthy Outlets for Anger - Younger Set

• Teach them how to get out their frustration – dance to music, play Wac-a-Mole, beat up a stuffed animal, or punch a pillow.

• Teach them how to tell someone what is wrong and not act on their anger. Talking it out is the key to combating the anger.

Tweens

• Crank up the tunes and sing! Singing is a great way to change one’s mood. Even sad songs can help get rid of bad feelings.

• Talk it out. Find someone to discuss your feeling with – even if it’s not mom or dad. Having someone to talk to – grandparents, aunt/uncle, trusted teacher, minister, etc. can help you get in touch with your feelings.

Teenagers

• Take up a sport or join a gym. Physical exercise is a good way to eliminate those stress chemicals.

• Spend time with others doing something productive, not just hanging out. Join a group, volunteer time for a worthy cause. Feeling good about one’s accomplishments is a good way to eliminate anger.

Things to Watch For
While it’s normal for children to fell misunderstood, and they think parents have no idea what they are “going through”, it is not normal or healthy for children to exist in a constant, or near constant angry state. Prolonged anger can result in increased instances of bad behavior, violence, or death. Here are some things to look for:

• Sudden depression, anger and withdrawal.

• Anger that has morphed into violent outburst and destructive behavior.

• A pattern of anger that does not seem to have a cause.

• Any physical bruises, signs of self mutilation.

• Drug or alcohol use.

• Abandonment of old group of friends for new group.

• Anger that does not seem to abate.

Children today have no more of a reason to be angry than the children of past generations. There’s simply a larger percentage of the population acting in this inappropriate manner. Just like they would not like or expect parents to be angry and sullen all the time, parents should hold children to the same standard. Let them know what is acceptable, what will not be tolerated, and stick to your guns. Hormones may come into play from time to time, but anger shouldn’t be taking up residence in your home indefinitely. Be sure to seek professional help if anger continues, or something seems completely abnormal. In this case, it’s much better to be proactive. A medical professional can steer you in the right direction.

Kim Green-Spangler, B.S. Ed and M.S. Eng, is a freelance writer, wife and mother. Her niche is writing articles pertaining to family life, health, fitness, parenting and home based businesses. She may be contacted through www.justwrite4u.com