“Making and sharing cookies can really be a gift from the heart,” says Ima. “That’s what ‘The Treats Truck’ is all about – sharing a little of myself through my fresh-baked treats. It really is one of the greatest ways to connect with people.”

McCormick and Ima share some simple tips for making holiday cookies extra-special:

• Fantastic Flavor Combinations – Certain flavor match-ups are real winners around the holidays. Cinnamon and ginger are comforting holiday classics, while a splash of peppermint extract adds a surprising hint of refreshment.
• Dress it Up – Spruce up versatile, go-to recipes like Spiced Holiday Sugar Cookies with seasonal flavors and creative decorations. Add a hint of almond extract to deepen the flavor, or play with festive cookie cutters and colorful frosting.
• Gift It – In a mason jar, combine pre-measured spices, seasonings and other dry ingredients for a homemade “cookie mix.” With a strip of ribbon, attach a recipe card with baking and decorating tips.

To capture the magic of holiday cookie-baking virtually, McCormick is helping bakers share their own delicious gifts from the heart in “The Big Cookie Share” at www.Facebook.com/McCormickSpice. After choosing a signature cookie recipe and customizing it with their own flavor twists, McCormick fans will receive an e-cookie to share with Facebook friends – complete with a frosted holiday message – and the accompanying recipe to bake up a batch at home.

Spiced Holiday Sugar Cookies

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 8 to 10 minutes per batch
Refrigerate: 2 hours

2 1/3 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon McCormick Ground Cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon McCormick Ground Nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
1 egg
2 teaspoons McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract

Colorful Cookie Icing:
1 cup confectioners’ sugar
3 to 4 teaspoons milk
1/2 teaspoon McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract
3 to 4 drops McCormick Assorted Food Colors and Egg Dye

1. Mix flour, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt in medium bowl. Set aside. Beat granulated sugar and butter in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add egg and vanilla; mix well. Gradually beat in flour mixture on low speed until well mixed. Refrigerate dough 2 hours or overnight until firm.

1. Roll out dough on lightly floured surface to 1/8-inch thickness. Cut into shapes with cookie cutters. Place on greased baking sheets.

1. Bake in preheated 375°F oven 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool on baking sheets 1 minute. Remove to wire racks; cool completely.

1. For the icing, mix all ingredients except food colors. (Stir in additional milk as needed to thin icing or more confectioners’ sugar to thicken, if needed.) Place small amount of icing into small shallow bowls, using one bowl for each color desired. Stir drops of food coloring into icing until desired shade is reached.

1. To ice cookies, hold cookie by its edge and dip top of cookie into icing. (Or spoon icing onto cookie using a teaspoon.) Place iced cookies on wire rack set over foil-covered baking sheet to dry. (The foil-covered baking sheet will catch drips.) To add decorative details to cookies, spoon tinted icing into resealable plastic bag. Snip off tiny piece of corner. Squeeze icing through hole in plastic bag to decorate cookies. If desired, colored sugar may be sprinkled onto freshly iced cookies.

Makes 6 dozen or 24 (3 cookie) servings.

Test Kitchen Tip: Mix 1/4 cup flour and 1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar to use for dusting surface.

Nutrition Information Per Serving: 184 Calories, Fat 8g, Carbohydrates 26g, Cholesterol 29mg, Sodium 137mg, Fiber 0g, Protein 2g

Arts and Crafts Ideas
With the most soft cotton at the tip*, Q-tips cotton swabs are gentle and safe for baby care and pet care; great for cleaning nooks and crannies in the house and for fixing makeup mishaps. They can also be used in a variety of craft projects. Use them to:

• Replace expensive paint brushes. Perfectly-sized for children’s small hands, you can use a different cotton swab for each color and simply toss when finished.
• Apply glue to small areas on models and crafts. Use one tip to apply the glue and the other to remove any excess glue before it dries.
• Carve detailed designs into pottery. Moisten the tool to put the finishing touches on sculptures.
• Touch-up hard-to-reach areas on freshly painted model airplanes and cars – or even dollhouses.

Have fun with your family making this adorable snowman that’s simple for children to create with a little help from mom or dad.

Cheery Snowman

Skill Level: Intermediate
Prep Time: 2 hours
Dry Time: 30 minutes

Materials:
1 Standard pack (500-count) of Q-tips cotton swabs
3 Styrofoam balls; 1 large, 1 medium, 1 small, (no smaller than 2 inches in diameter)
1 brown pipe cleaner
1 sheet wax paper
1 Popsicle stick or floral stake
Child-safe scissors
Child-safe, non-toxic black paint
Child-safe, non-toxic orange paint

Have an adult cut the bottom off the largest Styrofoam ball, so the piece can lay flat upon a table or surface.

Using a Popsiclestick or floral stake, stack all three Styrofoam balls from largest at the bottom, to smallest at the top to form one standing figure.

Fold and twist 5 cotton swabs in half; dip 9 halves into the black paint and 1 into the orange paint. Lay flat on wax paper to dry.

Cut pipe cleaner in half; insert into sides of middle Styrofoam ball as arms.

Begin folding cotton swabs; insert into foam balls until completely covered.

Insert black cotton swabs into top ball for coal eyes and mouth. Insert orange cotton swab as the carrot nose.

Find step-by-step photos for this project, additional kid-friendly crafting ideas and household tips at www.qtips.com. Or, share your own tips or craft ideas at www.Facebook.com/qtips.

*From the end of the stick to the top of the swab.

The good news is, you don’t have to completely abandon what you know – traditions can be easily evolved into something suitable for you and your loved ones.

A recent Bing survey revealed that shaking up holiday traditions is on the minds of many this year. In fact, a major life change – such as marriage or a new baby – is the most popular reason (33 percent), with a change in financial situation coming in a close second (30 percent). No matter your reasoning, if you’re looking to create new ways to celebrate and entertain this holiday, Bing’s lifestyle expert, Karin Muskopf, offers tips for how you can do just that:

Create Your Own Holiday

The holidays are one of the busiest party seasons of the year, and it can be tricky to get everyone together on one specific day. If you’re looking to entertain, use Bing.com to help find ideas and inspiration on how to create your own special day, think outside the box and borrow festive ideas from others.

“To me, it’s less important what day of the year it is,” said Muskopf, “and it’s more about being together with good food and lots of laughs.”

If you can’t get everyone together at the same time, consider several mini celebrations throughout the season. Or, host an “Eve Before the Eve” party – celebrating the day before the actual holiday so people can either squeeze in an extra special day with family and friends or simply relax.

To keep things interesting, start a new tradition with a competitive twist. “Our annual holiday party has turned into a highly anticipated event – Pie Night,” Muskopf said.

“Each guest bakes his/her own pie to bring to the party for a taste test. Everyone samples a piece of each pie, and we award the ‘Most Delicious,’ ‘Most Festive’ and ‘Most Fattening’ titles in a hilarious ceremony.”

However you do it, celebrating together on an off-day creates a memorable experience and a unique bond for all those involved.

Spice Up the Holiday Meal

If you’re like many, you’ve got a few favorite holiday recipes up your sleeve. Holiday meals present a special opportunity to leave a lasting, happy holiday memory with your guests. Here are some fun, delicious ways to enjoy holiday feasting:

-Make it a potluck - Rather than burden one family member with all the cooking duties, have everyone bring their own specialty to the table, and ask everyone to bring copies of their recipe to share. Everyone will go home with a full stomach and a delicious keepsake for holidays to come.

-Serve healthier options - “My mom’s classic holiday recipes are comforting and delicious, but often come with loads of extra calories and fat,” said Muskopf. “These days, it’s so easy to tweak recipes so they still taste like home but won’t leave you five pounds heavier come February.”

For more ideas and inspiration on tweaking old traditions, creating new ones and making this holiday all your own, go to www.Bing.com.

Photo courtesy of Getty Images

For more holiday tips and recipes, visit www.CampbellsKitchen.com.

Herb Roasted Turkey with Pan Gravy

Prep: 15 minutes
Roast: 3 hours
Cook: 10 minutes
Makes: 12 servings

1 turkey (12 to 14 pounds)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 carton (26 ounces) Swanson
Chicken Stock (Regular or
Unsalted) (about 3 1/4 cups)
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon dried basil leaves, crushed
1 teaspoon dried thyme leaves,
crushed 1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1. Remove giblets and neck from turkey cavity. Rinse turkey with cold water and pat dry with paper towel. Tie ends of drumsticks together.

2. Place turkey, breast-side up, on rack in roasting pan. Brush turkey with oil. Insert meat thermometer into thickest part of meat, not touching bone.

3. Stir stock, lemon juice, basil, thyme and black pepper in large bowl. Reserve 1 3/4 cups stock mixture for the gravy. Pour remaining stock mixture over turkey.

4. Roast at 325°F for 3 hours, or until thermometer reads 165°F, basting occasionally with pan drippings. Begin checking for doneness after 2 1/2 hours roasting time.

5. Remove turkey from pan, cover and keep warm. Spoon off any fat and pour off all but 1 1/2 cups pan drippings.

6. Stir reserved stock mixture and flour in medium bowl until the mixture is smooth. Add flour mixture to the pan. Cook and stir over medium heat until mixture boils and thickens, scraping up browned bits from bottom of pan. Serve gravy with turkey.

Green Bean Casserole

Prep: 10 minutes
Bake: 30 minutes
Makes: 12 servings

2 cans (10 3/4 ounces each)
Campbell’s Condensed
Cream of Mushroom
Soup (Regular,98% Fat Free or Healthy Request)
1 cup milk
2 teaspoons soy sauce
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
8 cups cooked cut green beans
2 2/3 cups French’s French Fried Onions

1. Stir soup, milk, soy sauce, black pepper, beans and 1 1/3 cups onions in 3-quart casserole.

2. Bake at 350°F for 25 minutes or until bean mixture is hot and bubbling. Stir bean mixture. Sprinkle with remaining onions.

3. Bake for 5 minutes or until onions are golden brown.

Ultra Creamy Mashed Potatoes

Prep: 15 minutes
Cook: 20 minutes
Makes: 6 servings

3 1/2 cups Swanson Chicken Broth
(Regular, Natural Goodness or Certified Organic)
5 large potatoes (about 2 1/2 pounds), peeled and cut into 1-inch pieces (about 7 1/2 cups)
1/2 cup light cream
2 tablespoons butter
Generous dash ground black pepper
1 can (14.5 ounces) Campbell’s Turkey Gravy, heated according to package directions

1. Heat broth and potatoes in a 3-quart saucepan over medium-high heat to a boil.

2. Reduce heat to medium. Cover and cook for 10 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Drain potatoes well in colander, reserving broth.

3. Mash potatoes with 1/4 cup reserved broth, cream, butter and black pepper. Add additional reserved broth, if needed, until desired consistency. Serve with gravy.

Moist and Savory Stuffing

Prep: 10 minutes
Cook: 10 minutes
Bake: 30 minutes
Makes: 10 servings
2 1/2 cups Swanson Chicken Broth (Regular, Natural Goodness or Certified Organic)
Generous dash ground black pepper
2 stalks celery, coarsely chopped (about 1 cup)
1 large onion, coarsely chopped
(about 1 cup)
1 package (14 ounces) Pepperidge
Farm Herb Seasoned Stuffing

1. Heat broth, black pepper, celery and onion in 3-quart saucepan over medium-high heat to a boil. Reduce heat to low. Cover and cook for 5 minutes or until vegetables are tender, stirring often. Remove saucepan from heat. Add stuffing and mix lightly.

2. Spoon stuffing mixture into a greased 3-quart shallow baking dish. Cover baking dish.

3. Bake at 350°F for 30 minutes or until stuffing mixture is hot. For crunchier stuffing, bake uncovered.

Don’t fret about what’s left!

Want to make leftovers seem a little less left over? Plan ahead by stocking your kitchen with the basics — eggs, milk, cheese, bread, canned soup and broth. This French Onion Turkey Casserole, made with Campbell’s Condensed French Onion Soup, is a welcome departure from the standard hot turkey sandwich, and uses ingredients many people already have on-hand.

French Onion Turkey Casserole

Prep: 20 minutes
Bake: 45 minutes
Makes: 8 servings

Vegetable cooking spray
6 eggs
1 can (10 1/2 ounces) Campbell’s
Condensed French Onion Soup
2 cups milk
1 cup shredded Swiss cheese (about 4 ounces)
2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme leaves or 2 teaspoons dried thyme leaves, crushed
9 slices Pepperidge Farm Farmhouse Hearty White Bread, cut into cubes
2 cups shredded or cubed cooked turkey

1. Heat oven to 350°F. Spray 2-quart shallow baking dish with cooking spray.

2. Beat eggs, soup, milk, 1/2 cup cheese and 1 tablespoon thyme in large bowl with fork or whisk. Add bread cubes and turkey. Stir and press bread cubes into milk mixture to coat.

3. Pour bread mixture into baking dish. Sprinkle with remaining cheese and thyme. Let stand for 15 minutes.

4. Bake for 45 minutes or until a knife inserted in center comes out clean.

Life with a tween/teenager around can be completely unbalancing. Though they are often unwilling to admit it, tweens/teenagers are simply bigger children with raging hormones, larger appetites and the seemingly ever-present know-it-all attitude. The attitude is one parents have seen before, but have merely conveniently forgotten. It’s the same one that made them proclaim at two and three years old, NO! I DO IT!” It’s just voiced with a bit more attitude and at probably higher decibels, when “teenagerdom” rears its head. Unfortunately, for some parents, this scenario begins when their child hits those between years, currently called “tweens.”

They love you one minute, and the next don’t want you in the same zip code! How can a parent prepare them for life as an adult, with adult responsibilities while still managing to keep them safe? Today’s real world is a lot more complicated and society is more aware of everyday dangers. What’s a loving parent to do?

Independence the Catch 22

How much independence is too much? How can you balance the desire to keep them protected with the need to let them get out and explore? What do you do with a child who feels safe and secure and doesn’t want to venture out of the nest? Just how do you know it’s time to “cut the umbilical cord” or when to reel them back in?

So much depends on the child, the parents, social and societal influences. This is a case when each of these factors can weigh heavily in how much freedom is allowed, and exactly which activities need to be supervised or restricted. Children have a knack for finding ways to get into trouble, especially when in a group. However, this is often the compromise parents reach with their children. They are allowed to go out in groups for safety, but it this ideal?

How to Decide?

So much of this depends on guidance. Have you prepared your child for the real world? Do they know about the dangers of talking to strangers, accepting anything from someone they do not know, following someone because they “look” normal, not to mention the typical dangers of promiscuity, drugs, and alcohol? While children need independence, they should be well-informed of things they may encounter in advance. They should know about the dangers and lure of “forbidden” temptations. They should also know about the consequences of what can occur from not following the rules established by parents and society.

One thing parents must realize is that a child’s personality is a key factor in his or her quest for independence. Does your teen tend to do what he is told or does he tend to be unreliable? If he’s chronically irresponsible, he should have to earn the right for independence. Independence is all about trust. If you can’t trust him to clean his room, or come home straight from school, he can’t expect you to allow him more responsibility. On the other hand, if a child is honest, reliable and responsible, a parent will be more apt to allow him/her more freedom, at least in controlled environments.

Not only must the child be responsible and reliable, but she must also be honest, have integrity and be respectful of herself and others. Groups of unruly children can often be found on the streets of any town across the country. Complete and utter disregard for rules and others is typically at the root of most of society’s ills. Help your tween/teen understand they should not be contributing to the demise of society, but to its resurgence.

Make sure you can communicate with your tween or teen. It’s okay for them to think you know nothing, but they must realize they can come to you with any issues they may have for advice, support, and encouragement. They must recognize that you’re the parent, and you’re ultimately their ally, even if they want to pretend to ignore you most of the time.

In the book Boundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children, Dr. Henry Cloud makes a keen observation, “We parent in the present, without thinking about the future.” Parents should remember that it’s what has been taught to children to this point that will shape how they handle their freedom.

Preparing your Tween/Teenager for More Responsibility

Let your tween know what to expect. Let her know that it’s normal to want to pull away from parents during these years, and you still love her. Let him know that independence is the ultimate personal responsibility, and what he can do to make it a possibility.

• Let her know that independence is all about trust, and trust must be earned and retained. Allow her to demonstrate that she can follow established rules.

• He must show you he can handle situations that may arise with a level head, or when caught in a potentially tricky situation, he can quickly find and ask for help, if needed.

• Know who your tween is socializing with, both in person and online. Get to know his friends and his friends’ parents.

• If you feel comfortable, let your tween venture out with a responsible older sibling for a bike ride, or rollerblading with their friends. That way supervision is present, but it’s just not a parent.

• If the idea of letting your tween venture out and about the neighborhood is uncomfortable, try a group activity. Many businesses are catering to the times by staging “lock-ins”, an environment where groups are locked in for sleepovers at museum, zoos, laser tag facilities, dance studios, etc. Again, supervision is present, but it’s typically not provided by a parent.

• Perhaps find things for your tween or teen to do with other kids their age being chaperoned by someone you trust – who is NOT you. That may be the compromise you’re looking for. Let your kids go places with their friends’ parents, or a fun aunt or uncle as the designated driver – as long as you know and trust them. Rotate this out with other parents to give each of you a chance to let your child(ren) grow.

• Start small. Perhaps, you can begin by leaving your child at his activities while you run errands, or ask another parent to drop him off at home. This provides a bit of freedom that can be expanded as maturity and comfort levels increase.

• In a situation where safety may be a factor, like navigating public transportation, or the first few solo trips to and from school or the bus stop, follow your child. Make sure they can make from point A to point B on their own until you both feel comfortable. Don’t be sneaky. Let him/her know you will be “around,” keeping an eye on him/her in case you are needed.

Children are precious, no matter what age they are. It’s up to parents to keep them safe, but also up to parents to make sure they can reach their full potential as individuals and as productive members of society. Independence and responsibility are important personal characteristics.

Despite the societal challenges parents face, there are ways to balance freedom and safety. Parents should remember each child is unique and will develop and grow at his or her own pace. Stay present and realistically gauge maturity levels versus desires, to determine what to approve. Above all else, parents should trust their instincts.

Kim Green-Spangler, B.S. Ed and M.S. Eng, is a freelance writer, wife and mother. Her niche is writing articles pertaining to family life, health, fitness, parenting and home based businesses. She may be contacted at www.justwrite4u.com.

In generations past were children angry? Yes. However, it was more the exception than the rule. A mere couple of generations ago children were too afraid of the wrath of their parents and/or respected their parents too much to behave in this manner. Today it seems as though children who are not feeding into the angry, sullen, “misunderstood” role are the exceptions, and unfortunately difficult to find. What makes children behave this way? Is it society? Have parents become so accepting of this behavior as a form of rebellion, or the “rite of passage” into adulthood that it’s simply expected? Do children see this behavior in peers and adopt it as a means to fit in? Is it just a way to “get back at” parents, caregivers, authority figures or siblings?

There are many questions surrounding the anger issue, and while it seems to be pandemic, each child may be displaying this behavior as a unique expression of what is going on in his/her own life. Thus, each situation will be unique.

What is Anger?
Anger is just one of the many emotions humans experience. Just like an overabundance of anger is unhealthy, so is a lack of anger. Anger is an expression of displeasure. It is a natural feeling, but just like it is not expected that every experience will be enjoyable, it is also unrealistic for every situation to provide displeasure. Thus, anger should not be “on” 24-7. According to Anger.org, when anger occurs it’s impossible to think rationally because the body reacts so quickly, the mind just doesn’t stand a chance of catching up. Physically, the rapid heart rate and inability to catch one’s breath are the result of neurotransmitters and stress hormones racing through the body and brain. While someone immediately reacts to anger, the affects to the body take a long time to wane, sometimes days. That’s a long time to have your body be that amped up. Imagine the body being in that constantly. Anger can create serious health problems, and result in death if left to continue over a period of time.

How to Combat the Anger Issue
There are different schools of thought on how to address the anger issues. First and foremost, parents should try to determine why anger is present and being displayed in an inappropriate manner. Below are some possible reasons:

• Does it stem from a lack of communication?

• Are children being bullied and are reacting to treatment they are receiving?

• Are they trying to fit in by mimicking the actions and behaviors of their peers?

• Are they simply over tired due to busy schedules and being short-tempered?

• Do they have no time for true downtime between school, other activities, television, video games, hand held devices, and cell phones?

• Is anger an emotion they often see in adults and they are just modeling that behavior?

• Is there a food/chemical imbalance that manifests as anger?

• Is there a mental problem or family history that could be the cause?

• Are children missing time to interact with parents?

• Have children learned how to voice their anger instead of demonstrate their frustration?

• Do they know that and understand that anger is healthy, but tantrums are not tolerated by your family?

According to psychologist Dr. Randy Cole, children can be legitimately angry, but parents have to let them know they are responsible for their anger, and will be held accountable for their inappropriate displays of temper. For example, if a child is upset and takes his/her bad temper out on someone, the child will not be encouraged to continue the behavior. Unwittingly, adults and others often feed into the anger cycle by providing fuel to the anger fire. They ask what is wrong, argue with the person wallowing in their anger, or lose patience with the individual and the situation escalates. Dr. Cole suggests completely ignoring the person to let them know the behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

Offer an alternative to anger.  Develop parameters for what is acceptable, how and where anger can be displayed. Let it be known anger is a normal and acceptable reaction, but I should not be taken out on others, violence should not result, and it can be more therapeutic than destructive. Other outlets should be explored.

Look to who may be influencing the anger behavior and either work on helping the instigator diffuse their issues, or help the child limit interactions with the person(s). Get them out of the “group think” situation and help them rewire their brains. Help them learn to be happy, enjoy new experiences, and seek out situations that are not negative and will not feed into the anger mode. It’s hard to be angry when you’re having fun, or spending time with people you truly enjoy.
Seek the assistance of a medical professional. Sometimes children need to discuss something, but they feel their parents simply will not understand, or approve. This can result in anger or bitterness towards parents; when a child feels they cannot turn to their parents for advice. Additionally, a medical professional can determine if there is more to the anger issue than what may be perceived.

Healthy Outlets for Anger - Younger Set

• Teach them how to get out their frustration – dance to music, play Wac-a-Mole, beat up a stuffed animal, or punch a pillow.

• Teach them how to tell someone what is wrong and not act on their anger. Talking it out is the key to combating the anger.

Tweens

• Crank up the tunes and sing! Singing is a great way to change one’s mood. Even sad songs can help get rid of bad feelings.

• Talk it out. Find someone to discuss your feeling with – even if it’s not mom or dad. Having someone to talk to – grandparents, aunt/uncle, trusted teacher, minister, etc. can help you get in touch with your feelings.

Teenagers

• Take up a sport or join a gym. Physical exercise is a good way to eliminate those stress chemicals.

• Spend time with others doing something productive, not just hanging out. Join a group, volunteer time for a worthy cause. Feeling good about one’s accomplishments is a good way to eliminate anger.

Things to Watch For
While it’s normal for children to fell misunderstood, and they think parents have no idea what they are “going through”, it is not normal or healthy for children to exist in a constant, or near constant angry state. Prolonged anger can result in increased instances of bad behavior, violence, or death. Here are some things to look for:

• Sudden depression, anger and withdrawal.

• Anger that has morphed into violent outburst and destructive behavior.

• A pattern of anger that does not seem to have a cause.

• Any physical bruises, signs of self mutilation.

• Drug or alcohol use.

• Abandonment of old group of friends for new group.

• Anger that does not seem to abate.

Children today have no more of a reason to be angry than the children of past generations. There’s simply a larger percentage of the population acting in this inappropriate manner. Just like they would not like or expect parents to be angry and sullen all the time, parents should hold children to the same standard. Let them know what is acceptable, what will not be tolerated, and stick to your guns. Hormones may come into play from time to time, but anger shouldn’t be taking up residence in your home indefinitely. Be sure to seek professional help if anger continues, or something seems completely abnormal. In this case, it’s much better to be proactive. A medical professional can steer you in the right direction.

Kim Green-Spangler, B.S. Ed and M.S. Eng, is a freelance writer, wife and mother. Her niche is writing articles pertaining to family life, health, fitness, parenting and home based businesses. She may be contacted through www.justwrite4u.com

I believe one main point that should also be considered in raising girls, is that of “appearance”; and unfortunately girls learn very early on that there is a link to their value or worth and their appearance.  Our girls need to understand there are other (more tangible) paths to power, happiness, and success separate from “appearance”.  We can show them this by choosing media, language, products and activities that expose them to a wide variety of appearances.  For example, we shouldn’t hate Barbie; after all, we still want to have fun with dress up, right?  But it’s important to consider the associations we make when we give our girls toys.  Do we really want to give her a figure modeled after a prostitute?  Barbie was first introduced in 1959, and modeled after a German doll/cartoon prostitute, named Lilli.  Barbie was purposefully made to resemble a full-grown woman, enabling young girls to act out their fantasies of the adult world: shopping, buying clothes, wearing makeup, and jewelry.

It’s no secret that for decades women could only gain power through their appearance (with little consideration given to skills or education)… and their value was based on this for thousands of years.  The famous Courtesans during the Renaissance Era were prostitutes, and in fact the only women allowed to enter male only libraries.  Females were forbidden to enter the library unless they held this valued “role”.

Today, we obviously have more options.  But even our own Sarah Palin went through the Miss America pageant, which has been criticized for their swimsuit portion not being about health, but rather appearance.  Women could climb a rope, for example, or something else to show they have physical health, if it was really about health.

It is very important we show young girls there is more to life than appearance, even though we live in a very appearance-driven and media-saturated society.  When the focus is on appearance (because we don’t want to hate aesthetics) we need to offer multiple views on what is “beautiful” in order to have a full range of options, sizes, ages, ethnicities, and roles for women.  Since appearance has been tied to female value for thousands of years it would be safe to say it doesn’t change quickly.  It is a slow process and each person can choose through their daily actions, language, purchases, and activities to show a wider spectrum of what is considered beautiful – and that the value and worth of a woman is not tied to appearance.  And I didn’t say not ONLY tied to appearance, but really not based on appearance at all.  She is worthy as a person not worthy as an appearance.

We can support moving into adolescence as a time of joy and a time to build confidence and self-esteem instead of the downhill trend for many young girls as they realize their appearance is not good enough.

Dr. Rachel Dilts
Associate Professor
Northwest Christian University

Kids are also creators with access to tools that let them connect, share and collaborate. Social networking is intuitive and natural. Information and experiences are shared as “currency” and a way to build relationships with each other. For parents (“digital immigrants”), this can all feel very overwhelming.

Which networks and sites are safe for your kids to explore?

Safety, of course, is paramount. Some features to look for include:
- Focus on helping kids understand privacy and security
- Requirement for parents to create, and have access to the account.
- Limited access to outside links.
- No (or limited) private messages.
- Ability for parents to approve “friends” on the site.
- Limited ability for kids to “friend” other users on the site outside of their age range.

For the kids, age-appropriateness is key. Kids won’t hang out on a network just because you tell them it’s ok, of course (in fact, quite the opposite in some cases!). The experts, parents and kids agree these sites are worth exploring.

Pre-Tween (ages 6 – 10)

The most popular sites for this age group are MoshiMonsters and Disney’s Club Penguin. But some newer sites have recently launched that are worth a look (and have fewer toys for sale).

Togetherville (www.togetherville.com), designed for kids under 10, is entirely monitored and approved by parents. Parents set up an account and monitor their children’s activities, including approving who is in their child’s neighborhood.

Hemu Nigam, A former federal prosecutor specializing in crimes against children online and off and co-chair of President Obama’s Online Safety Technology Working Group explains why Togetherville is one of his top picks, “Identity of parents are validated through Facebook accounts and credit card verification, thereby cutting the chances for predators to join to almost nill.”

Children can posts links to videos from YouTube, but no click will lead the child outside of Togetherville. Fun games and music keep kids entertained and engaged. Parents can also leave comments for their kids and distribute a “virtual allowance” that can be used to buy and send virtual gifts.

Scuttlepad (www.scuttlepad.com)

Scuttlepad, unlike other social sites for kids, is focused on solely on networking and not gaming. The site has a few safeguards in place. For example all photos – from profile images to photos for sharing – are approved by actual people before going live on the site. Chatting and status updates are limited to pre-approved words and can only be 3 or 4 words long – sort of Mad Libs style. This definitely keeps the language safe and as one reviewer put it, “the only danger is from quirky grammar.”

A parent of child with Asberger’s Syndrome recommended Scuttlepad for other parents of kids who have difficulty with social interactions. WriteNOWMom says on her blog, “The site is a soft landing pad for children like my own who are challenged by social interaction and can use a place to feel like they are social networking.”

This youngest group is tricky to find the best network for. The gaming and shopping focused sites seem a little consumerism-heavy, but they may not yet be interested in sharing updates and photos.

Tween (ages 11 – 13)

Tweens are not old enough to join Facebook, but are looking for a similar experience. Two sites provide this kind of experience but with more attention to privacy and safety.

Giant Hello (www.gianthello.com) is the most Facebook-like experience for kids, but with more privacy controls so parents can feel secure their kids are safe. One of the most interesting features of Giant Hello is that kids can only communicate with people they have invited as friends, via email or a code printed and delivered in person preventing them from connecting with people they don’t know or who parents don’t approve.

Everloop aims to provide kids a space to connect with friends, play games, share pictures and music, send messages and discover new talent. Its claim to fame is the patent-pending privacy technology that guards its members against bullying, bad language and sharing private information. Everloop’s partners help provide tween-focused entertainment and educational activities that keep kids involved and engaged.

Teen (ages 14 – 16)

Once your child is an actual teenager, he or she can legally join any social network and connect to, well, anyone they want. Whether it’s a mainstream site like Facebook or YouTube or a niche site focused on particular interests (there are hundreds and hundres of these), the focus for parents with teens needs to be helping their kids understand how to protect themselves so they can make good decisions on their own.

Whether your kids are just starting to explore social networks and social gaming, or you have teens who are spending more time on sites like Facebook, their “digital world” requires help navigating.

How do you do this? Common Sense Media, an independent nonprofit that focuses on how kids use media and technology, has some advice:

Teach kids the skills they need to use technology wisely and well. Parents have little or no control over the flow of information to our kids who see too much, too soon. We can’t be everywhere, so we have to teach them how to be responsible even when we’re not on their shoulder.

Keep an open mind. We aren’t helpful to our kids when we judge their lives through the lens of a non-digital world. We see the world differently, but it’s important to understand that our kids will spend their lives in a world where everyone is connected and participates in communication and creation.

Don’t be afraid. You can’t afford to be a technophobe. Kids adopt technologies faster than most of us and it also means they are way out in front. Get in the game and if you need to, have your kids show you how to do something you don’t understand.

Pass along your values. Online or off, one our most important jobs as parents is to instill our values in our kids. We have to be able to translate those values to a digital world where actions are often divorced from consequences.

To our kids, there’s no such thing as a “digital life.” To them, it’s just life. Consuming and creating media is an integral part of their world. The ability to communicate and connect is 24/7. As parents we need to prepare our digital natives for success by helping them see the possibilities and the perils, teaching them to act responsibly and take advantage of the amazing tools at their fingertips.

Kelli Matthews is an instructor of social media and public relations at the University of Oregon. Her son is five and a member of Club Penguin. He can navigate her iPad like a digital native and she’s certain his tween and teenage years will keep her on her toes.

Resources:
Common Sense Media: Reviews, advice and recommendations (http://www.commonsensemedia.org/).

OwnYourSpace: A Guide to Facebook Security http://on.fb.me/rco19s

http://www.ikeepsafe.org/PRC/videotutorials/ – Video tutorials on social networks and safety

http://www.wiredsafety.org/ – Wired Safety says it’s the world’s largest resource for online safety with lots of tips, videos and tutorials.

http://bit.ly/teensafety – 8 Ways to Protect Your Kids on Social Networks from Consumer Reports

http://www.nsteens.org/index.html – For teens, NetSmart Teens has videos, games and tips.

http://www.safefamilies.org/socialnetworking.php – Tips for parents from Safe Families.

Here are some easy ways to take big flavor from the grate to the plate:

Grill Up the Unexpected

A lot of fruits and veggies are easy to cook over the coals. Try:

—Zucchini
—Eggplant
—Portobello mushrooms
—Corn
—Romaine hearts
—Pineapple
—Onion (sliced thick)
—Stone fruits like peaches, plums and mangoes

Marinate Meats

When grilling lean meat, use a flavorful marinade with some acidic ingredients (like citrus juices) to help break down tough meat fibers. Make sure the marinade covers the meat entirely, and let it do its magic for several hours or overnight. Some bold ingredients to experiment with:

—Chili sauce
—Olive oil
—Lemon or lime juice
—Soy sauce
—Worcestershire sauce
—Molasses
—Garlic
—Red pepper flakes

Top It Off

In addition to the good old grilling standbys like ketchup or barbecue sauce, set out some tasty toppers that can work on just about anything:

—Roasted red peppers
—Caramelized onions
—Spicy Wholly Guacamole
—Pickled jalapeño peppers
—Chipotle or basil mayo
—Wholly Salsa
—Smoked cheese slices

When you’re ready to fire up some flavor, try these recipes from Wholly Guacamole. Made with all-natural ingredients, Wholly Guacamole can be found in the produce section of your grocery store. For more recipes, visit www.eatwholly.com.

Guacamania

Guacamole isn’t just packed with flavor, it’s packed with healthful ingredients. Avocados are full of the good kinds of fats — the same ones in olive oil and almonds. They’re loaded with magnesium, Vitamin E, folic acid and lutein, a natural antioxidant. Avocados have 60 percent more potassium than bananas. Add in the benefits associated with tomatoes and onions and you have a remarkably low-calorie, good-time food.

Beef Steak Soft Tacos
Serves: 6

Marinade:

2/3 cup prepared Italian
dressing
2 tablespoons chopped
fresh cilantro
1 tablespoon chili powder

Beef Tacos:

2 boneless beef chuck
shoulder steaks, cut
3/4 inch thick
(about 1-1/2 pounds)
12 small flour tortillas, warmed

Toppings:

Thinly sliced lettuce,
chopped tomato, dairy
sour cream, guacamole
(optional)

Combine marinade ingredients in small bowl. Place beef steaks and marinade in food-safe plastic bag; turn to coat. Close bag securely and marinate in refrigerator 6 hours or as long as overnight, turning occasionally.

Remove steaks; discard marinade. Place steaks on grid over medium, ash-covered coals. Grill, uncovered, 14 to 17 minutes for medium rare (145°F) to medium (160°F) doneness, turning occasionally.
Carve into thin slices; season with salt. Serve in tortillas with toppings.

Wholly Lime Cheeseburgers
Serves: 6

2 pounds lean ground beef
1/2 lime, juiced
1 teaspoon garlic
1/2 cup diced onion
1/2 cup diced tomatoes
6 slices Monterey Jack cheese
6 hamburger buns
Your favorite flavor of Wholly Guacamole

In a large bowl mix together ground beef, lime juice, garlic, onion and tomatoes. Form meat into 6 patties.
Cook burgers to desired doneness on a preheated grill. Add a slice of cheese to each burger during the last minute of cooking.
Serve on toasted buns with a healthy dollop of guacamole.
This recipe also makes great sliders. For a leaner version, use ground turkey instead of ground beef.

Avocado Stuffed Salmon
Serves: 4

2 packages lemon butter
grilled salmon, defrosted
1 cup spicy Wholly
Guacamole
1 egg yolk
1/4 cup bread crumbs
1 teaspoon lemon zest
Sea salt and freshly cracked pepper to taste

Preheat your oven to 350°F. Using a sharp serrated knife, cut a pocket into the side of each piece of salmon.

In a bowl, combine guacamole, egg yolk, bread crumbs and lemon zest to make stuffing.
Stuff fish with avocado mixture; season each fillet with salt and pepper. Bake for 8 minutes and serve immediately.

In today’s society children face a great deal of challenges before they reach adulthood. The challenges facing boys and girls may seem similar, but the truth is that boys and girls are different, and their problems while similar, are also diverse. As the society has changed, so have the issues facing girls. In years past girls were groomed to find good husbands to take care of them, to learn how to run their households for their future families, and to be efficient mothers. They were taught to be respectful and to tolerate uncomfortable situations in silence, to strive for perfection in grooming and status, and in essence, let males be the important ones in their relationships. The calendar dictates that decades have passed, but girls are often still caught between the times. Girls today need to be taught to be strong and confident, possess excellent self-esteem, and become competent, educated, successful members of society.

In a world filled with obstacles, here are a few tips to help parents get their daughters on course:

Level the playing field. Make it easy for daughters to come to parents with questions, comments, updates, and feelings. The more accessible parents are, the more opportunity there is for these conversations to occur. Turn off the electronics a little more at home, or at least establish rules that apply to everyone (barring emergencies or true job requirements.)

Encourage girls to try new things and step out of their comfort zone. Have young girls try a multitude of different activities and sports as they mature enough to physically handle the activity. Let them determine where their true interests lie and which things they really enjoy. They can eventually narrow down their focus. They will then be able to experience a sense of accomplishment from selecting, participating in and honing their desired craft. If none of the current activities are a good match, discuss stick-to-it-ness (until the current session/week/season/class ends) and move on to greener pastures.

Adopt a limit on the amount of television, types of music, and internet sites that can be accessed in the household. If you can’t ban/limit altogether, perhaps you could make it a point to listen to music together, surf as a family, and watch pre-determined programming that provides an appropriate message. While you probably won’t eliminate all the negative influences, you may minimize them, or at least provide girls with a solid foundation for determining what is in line with their own family morals. Use television as a tool to discuss current events, social problems, and any mixed messages that may be presented.

Discuss the things that often concern parents – peer pressure, drugs/alcohol, promiscuity, media influence, image issues, questionable fashions, social media, technology, etc. Don’t be afraid to let daughters know your concerns and see if they have any insight, opinions, etc. Their thoughts could ease your mind, provide a gateway for serious communication, or perhaps provide a head’s up concerning a potential problem. Two-way communication is the key.

Buy clothing together, or at least, be clear about what your family deems acceptable. Many will say that clothing is a self-expression, but be sure to voice which messages you want your daughter to be conveying. Just be clear about why certain clothing is unacceptable, and what messages short, tight, minuscule clothing and excessive make-up may be saying to certain individuals. Clothing should be selected for their own personal enjoyment and not to fit in or attract attention from boys.

Yield when necessary. There is a time for everyone to step back and access a situation. A time to ask “will continuing on this path result in my desired outcome?” If the answer is no – cease and desist. This is a skill parents should teach, as well as, practice. Sometimes completely disengaging from a situation is best, while in other cases, it provides both parties with a much needed cooling off period.

Engage girls in activities that will build their self-esteem. Let them work toward their goals with a plan in mind. Let them learn through trial and error, perseverance. Life can throw many obstacles along the way. Girls should learn they can achieve their goals and leave whatever mark they desire in the world, if they keep trying. Having the wherewithal to pick themselves up and start over again is one of the most valuable life lessons.

Examine girls in environments away from home. This does not mean spy on them, but simply watch how they interact with others – peers, teachers, other adults, siblings, etc. Is your daughter the funny one trying to fit in or the class clown, the shy one, the popular one, the mean one, or the misunderstood one? If she is having problems fitting in, or her interactions with others are a little disturbing, she may need your help. Discuss the situation and see if you can help her solve her dilemma, or at least maybe bring your observations to her attention. It’s often very difficult to see a problem when you’re immersed in it.

Allow girls the opportunity to decide on what occurs in their lives. While most major final decisions will be made by parents, daughters should be allowed to make a case. However, in day to day operations let girls practice making decisions and/or develop a plan for initiating a conversation about whatever they may want. Let them learn to be assertive, take the initiative, and become self-sufficient.

Mothers, in particular, often have a difficult time living with their daughters. This is especially true when they are similar in personality, and more so when they have strong personalities. The good news is that girls with strong personalities will typically not be anyone’s doormat. However, the bad news is that you do have to live with them until they grow up. Which may not be an easy tak! Encourage girls to speak their minds and to speak up for what they believe in. Also encourage girls to learn to listen to those around them and to know when to simply observe. In years past, it was often expected that a woman keep the conversation flowing. Much can be learned by simply listening.

Provide a stable environment for girls to grow up in. One of the disadvantages for more youths today is the fact that there are fewer two-parent homes. Daughters should be exposed to successful adult relationships. This helps provide them with an environment in which to relax after venturing out into the world for the day. A place to recharge their batteries, and provide a sense of well-being in what could be a chaotic existence. Additionally, this lays a foundation for future relationships. Do mom and dad fight fair? How do they rectify their disagreements? Are chores divided up by gender? After all of these years do mom and dad still hold hands and actually converse with each other? These are all things that are witnessed daily.

Love your body and teach girls to love their bodies, and be accepting of their friends’ bodies, as well. Body image is such a taboo in today’s society. While boys often want to DO what their friends are doing, girls typically want to LOOK like their friends. We live in a society where it is not uncommon to hear a perfectly weighted six year old asking if she is overweight. Negative body image in girls can lead to lifelong emotional and physical problems. Parents need to discuss body image, unrealistic weight goals, dieting, and air brushing with their children, but girls, in particular. What’s on the inside is what matters, but girls should be taught to love their entire package – body and soul.

Embrace your daughters. Let them know how much you love them and appreciate having them in your lives. It’s one of the things many people take for granted. Let them know all you want for them in the future, but accept them for who they are right now. Let them know that everyone is a work in progress. It’s the fortunate ones who recognize this fact, and continue to learn their entire lives.

As parents it’s easy to forget that children see what is done, hear what is said and often imitate what they learn. One of the best ways to try to mitigate the outside influences, is by providing girls with strong role models they can look up to and learn from.

While you may currently be tempted to invest in good earplugs for your own ears, duct tape to keep the girls from opening their mouths before they think things through, and have a therapist on speed dial, parents may find some of the above tips useful to help raise girls while maintaining most of their sanity.

Kim Green-Spangler B.S. Ed. is a freelance writer, columnist, research specialist, budding author, wife and mother. She has written hundreds of articles on topics specific to women and moms, exercise enthusiasts, small and home-based business owners and homeschoolers. She can be contacted at www.kspanresearch.com.