I pressed a button on the answering machine, and an imperious voice demanded:  “Sally, this is Amanda. Call me right away. It’s important.” Hoping to delete the child, I pressed another button. But the machine lacked the power for the job. Amanda is the queen of the fifth-grade. But she is not a...

When our daughter Sally was 4, she spent an afternoon playing at a new friend’s house, and when my wife Betsy went to pick her up, the mom asked, “Do you live on a farm?” “No,” Betsy said, “Why do you ask?” “Sally told me you did. And that you have three ponies – named Betsy, Rick and...

Ever wonder why world-famous photographer Ansel Adams took pictures mostly of mountains, deserts and lakes? It’s because trees, sand and water don’t fidget, pout, drool, grimace, whine, or have milk-mustaches that only show up in pictures. Still, almost any child can be clean and well-behaved for the...

When my daughter Sally was 4, she didn’t need the ghosts and goblins of Halloween to wreck her composure. She was wary of cats, frightened of dogs, and terrified of thunder. The heavy artillery of a fireworks display, even viewed from far away, would cause her to cower and weep. And at night she wouldn’t...

I was walking down the school corridor, and all the other kids turned to stare. “Hey Ricky,” said Pam Wintermute, a fellow fifth-grader with whom I was in love, “How come you’re wearing your P.J.s?” I looked down and, horrified, had no answer for her. I fled toward the classroom, wondering,...

“Is that a HUMAN skull?” I asked. The orthodontist was showing me an X-ray. “Yes,” he said. “In fact, it’s your daughter’s skull. Now look how those front teeth angle slightly forward. When the canines squeeze in, the angle will become more pronounced until her face is stretched out of shape...

FIREWORKS! The sign on the rooftop was about the same size as the building. My grip on the steering wheel tightened and my pulse quickened. A much-smaller sign said: Fresh Roasted Peanuts. “Anybody want some peanuts?” I asked. The kids chorused affirmatively and my wife Betsy gave me a dubious look as I...