“Making and sharing cookies can really be a gift from the heart,” says Ima. “That’s what ‘The Treats Truck’ is all about – sharing a little of myself through my fresh-baked treats. It really is one of the greatest ways to connect with people.”

McCormick and Ima share some simple tips for making holiday cookies extra-special:

• Fantastic Flavor Combinations – Certain flavor match-ups are real winners around the holidays. Cinnamon and ginger are comforting holiday classics, while a splash of peppermint extract adds a surprising hint of refreshment.
• Dress it Up – Spruce up versatile, go-to recipes like Spiced Holiday Sugar Cookies with seasonal flavors and creative decorations. Add a hint of almond extract to deepen the flavor, or play with festive cookie cutters and colorful frosting.
• Gift It – In a mason jar, combine pre-measured spices, seasonings and other dry ingredients for a homemade “cookie mix.” With a strip of ribbon, attach a recipe card with baking and decorating tips.

To capture the magic of holiday cookie-baking virtually, McCormick is helping bakers share their own delicious gifts from the heart in “The Big Cookie Share” at www.Facebook.com/McCormickSpice. After choosing a signature cookie recipe and customizing it with their own flavor twists, McCormick fans will receive an e-cookie to share with Facebook friends – complete with a frosted holiday message – and the accompanying recipe to bake up a batch at home.

Spiced Holiday Sugar Cookies

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 8 to 10 minutes per batch
Refrigerate: 2 hours

2 1/3 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon McCormick Ground Cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon McCormick Ground Nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
1 egg
2 teaspoons McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract

Colorful Cookie Icing:
1 cup confectioners’ sugar
3 to 4 teaspoons milk
1/2 teaspoon McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract
3 to 4 drops McCormick Assorted Food Colors and Egg Dye

1. Mix flour, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt in medium bowl. Set aside. Beat granulated sugar and butter in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add egg and vanilla; mix well. Gradually beat in flour mixture on low speed until well mixed. Refrigerate dough 2 hours or overnight until firm.

1. Roll out dough on lightly floured surface to 1/8-inch thickness. Cut into shapes with cookie cutters. Place on greased baking sheets.

1. Bake in preheated 375°F oven 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool on baking sheets 1 minute. Remove to wire racks; cool completely.

1. For the icing, mix all ingredients except food colors. (Stir in additional milk as needed to thin icing or more confectioners’ sugar to thicken, if needed.) Place small amount of icing into small shallow bowls, using one bowl for each color desired. Stir drops of food coloring into icing until desired shade is reached.

1. To ice cookies, hold cookie by its edge and dip top of cookie into icing. (Or spoon icing onto cookie using a teaspoon.) Place iced cookies on wire rack set over foil-covered baking sheet to dry. (The foil-covered baking sheet will catch drips.) To add decorative details to cookies, spoon tinted icing into resealable plastic bag. Snip off tiny piece of corner. Squeeze icing through hole in plastic bag to decorate cookies. If desired, colored sugar may be sprinkled onto freshly iced cookies.

Makes 6 dozen or 24 (3 cookie) servings.

Test Kitchen Tip: Mix 1/4 cup flour and 1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar to use for dusting surface.

Nutrition Information Per Serving: 184 Calories, Fat 8g, Carbohydrates 26g, Cholesterol 29mg, Sodium 137mg, Fiber 0g, Protein 2g

The good news is, you don’t have to completely abandon what you know – traditions can be easily evolved into something suitable for you and your loved ones.

A recent Bing survey revealed that shaking up holiday traditions is on the minds of many this year. In fact, a major life change – such as marriage or a new baby – is the most popular reason (33 percent), with a change in financial situation coming in a close second (30 percent). No matter your reasoning, if you’re looking to create new ways to celebrate and entertain this holiday, Bing’s lifestyle expert, Karin Muskopf, offers tips for how you can do just that:

Create Your Own Holiday

The holidays are one of the busiest party seasons of the year, and it can be tricky to get everyone together on one specific day. If you’re looking to entertain, use Bing.com to help find ideas and inspiration on how to create your own special day, think outside the box and borrow festive ideas from others.

“To me, it’s less important what day of the year it is,” said Muskopf, “and it’s more about being together with good food and lots of laughs.”

If you can’t get everyone together at the same time, consider several mini celebrations throughout the season. Or, host an “Eve Before the Eve” party – celebrating the day before the actual holiday so people can either squeeze in an extra special day with family and friends or simply relax.

To keep things interesting, start a new tradition with a competitive twist. “Our annual holiday party has turned into a highly anticipated event – Pie Night,” Muskopf said.

“Each guest bakes his/her own pie to bring to the party for a taste test. Everyone samples a piece of each pie, and we award the ‘Most Delicious,’ ‘Most Festive’ and ‘Most Fattening’ titles in a hilarious ceremony.”

However you do it, celebrating together on an off-day creates a memorable experience and a unique bond for all those involved.

Spice Up the Holiday Meal

If you’re like many, you’ve got a few favorite holiday recipes up your sleeve. Holiday meals present a special opportunity to leave a lasting, happy holiday memory with your guests. Here are some fun, delicious ways to enjoy holiday feasting:

-Make it a potluck - Rather than burden one family member with all the cooking duties, have everyone bring their own specialty to the table, and ask everyone to bring copies of their recipe to share. Everyone will go home with a full stomach and a delicious keepsake for holidays to come.

-Serve healthier options - “My mom’s classic holiday recipes are comforting and delicious, but often come with loads of extra calories and fat,” said Muskopf. “These days, it’s so easy to tweak recipes so they still taste like home but won’t leave you five pounds heavier come February.”

For more ideas and inspiration on tweaking old traditions, creating new ones and making this holiday all your own, go to www.Bing.com.

Photo courtesy of Getty Images

Gather ghouls and boys for a Halloween spread of spooktacular goodies and graveyard fun:

* Make it a BOO-fet, setting the table for serve-yourself ease.

* Finger foods make it easy: deviled eggs, crackers and cheese, veggie dippers and favorite dips, Spiderweb Munch and Easy Halloween Cookie Cups.

* Blow up orange balloons, and offer felt-tip markers for guests to decorate as jack-o-lanterns.

Frighteningly good ideas for tricks, treats and eats are at your fingertips: www.VeryBestBaking.com.

Easy Halloween Cookie Cups
Makes 2 dozen cookie cups

1 package (16.5 ounces) NestlÈ Toll House Refrigerated Chocolate Chip Cookie Bar Dough
1 cup (6 ounces) NestlÈ Toll House Swirled Milk Chocolate & Peanut Butter
Morsels

PREHEAT oven to 350∞F. Grease 24 mini-muffin cups.

PLACE squares of dough into prepared muffin cups; press down to make a deep well.

BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until edges are set. Remove from oven to wire rack(s). While still warm, fill cookie cups with morsels. Morsels will soften and retain their shape. Cool completely. With tip of knife, remove cookie cups from muffin pan(s).

* NOTE: 1 cup (6 ounces) of any flavor NestlÈ Toll House morsels can be substituted for the Swirled Milk Chocolate & Peanut Butter Morsels.

Nutrition Information per cookie cup: 120 calories; 50 calories from fat; 6 g total fat; 3 g saturated fat; 0g trans fat; 10 mg cholesterol; 85 mg sodium; 17 g carbohydrate; 0 g fiber; 12 g sugars; 1 g protein

Spiderweb Munch
Makes 12 servings

2 cups (12-ounce package) NestlÈ Toll House Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels
1 cup creamy peanut butter, divided
1/3 cup powdered sugar
3 cups toasted rice cereal

HEAT morsels and 3/4 cup peanut butter in small, heavy-duty saucepan over low heat, stirring constantly until smooth; remove from heat. Add sugar; stir vigorously until smooth.

PLACE cereal in large bowl. Add 1 cup melted chocolate mixture; stir until evenly coated. Place on ungreased baking sheet. Using small metal spatula, shape into 10-inch circle with slightly raised 1-inch-wide border. Pour remaining chocolate mixture in center of circle; spread to border.

FOR SPIDERWEB:

PLACE remaining peanut butter in small, heavy-duty plastic bag. Cut tiny corner from bag; squeeze to pipe concentric circles on top of chocolate. Using wooden pick or tip of sharp knife, pull tip through peanut butter from center to border. Refrigerate for 30 minutes or until firm. Cut into wedges.

Nutrition Information per serving: 320 calories; 170 calories from fat; 19 g total fat; 7 g saturated fat; 0g trans fat; 0 mg cholesterol; 150 mg sodium; 32 g carbohydrate; 3 g fiber; 19 g sugars; 7 g protein; 4% vitamin A; 8% vitamin C; 0% calcium; 15% DV iron

Jenny Harper is Consumer Test Kitchen Project Manager for the NestlÈ Test Kitchens and VeryBestBaking.com.

Photo courtesy of NestlÈ

In today’s society children face a great deal of challenges before they reach adulthood. The challenges facing boys and girls may seem similar, but the truth is that boys and girls are different, and their problems while similar, are also diverse. As the society has changed, so have the issues facing girls. In years past girls were groomed to find good husbands to take care of them, to learn how to run their households for their future families, and to be efficient mothers. They were taught to be respectful and to tolerate uncomfortable situations in silence, to strive for perfection in grooming and status, and in essence, let males be the important ones in their relationships. The calendar dictates that decades have passed, but girls are often still caught between the times. Girls today need to be taught to be strong and confident, possess excellent self-esteem, and become competent, educated, successful members of society.

In a world filled with obstacles, here are a few tips to help parents get their daughters on course:

Level the playing field. Make it easy for daughters to come to parents with questions, comments, updates, and feelings. The more accessible parents are, the more opportunity there is for these conversations to occur. Turn off the electronics a little more at home, or at least establish rules that apply to everyone (barring emergencies or true job requirements.)

Encourage girls to try new things and step out of their comfort zone. Have young girls try a multitude of different activities and sports as they mature enough to physically handle the activity. Let them determine where their true interests lie and which things they really enjoy. They can eventually narrow down their focus. They will then be able to experience a sense of accomplishment from selecting, participating in and honing their desired craft. If none of the current activities are a good match, discuss stick-to-it-ness (until the current session/week/season/class ends) and move on to greener pastures.

Adopt a limit on the amount of television, types of music, and internet sites that can be accessed in the household. If you can’t ban/limit altogether, perhaps you could make it a point to listen to music together, surf as a family, and watch pre-determined programming that provides an appropriate message. While you probably won’t eliminate all the negative influences, you may minimize them, or at least provide girls with a solid foundation for determining what is in line with their own family morals. Use television as a tool to discuss current events, social problems, and any mixed messages that may be presented.

Discuss the things that often concern parents – peer pressure, drugs/alcohol, promiscuity, media influence, image issues, questionable fashions, social media, technology, etc. Don’t be afraid to let daughters know your concerns and see if they have any insight, opinions, etc. Their thoughts could ease your mind, provide a gateway for serious communication, or perhaps provide a head’s up concerning a potential problem. Two-way communication is the key.

Buy clothing together, or at least, be clear about what your family deems acceptable. Many will say that clothing is a self-expression, but be sure to voice which messages you want your daughter to be conveying. Just be clear about why certain clothing is unacceptable, and what messages short, tight, minuscule clothing and excessive make-up may be saying to certain individuals. Clothing should be selected for their own personal enjoyment and not to fit in or attract attention from boys.

Yield when necessary. There is a time for everyone to step back and access a situation. A time to ask “will continuing on this path result in my desired outcome?” If the answer is no – cease and desist. This is a skill parents should teach, as well as, practice. Sometimes completely disengaging from a situation is best, while in other cases, it provides both parties with a much needed cooling off period.

Engage girls in activities that will build their self-esteem. Let them work toward their goals with a plan in mind. Let them learn through trial and error, perseverance. Life can throw many obstacles along the way. Girls should learn they can achieve their goals and leave whatever mark they desire in the world, if they keep trying. Having the wherewithal to pick themselves up and start over again is one of the most valuable life lessons.

Examine girls in environments away from home. This does not mean spy on them, but simply watch how they interact with others – peers, teachers, other adults, siblings, etc. Is your daughter the funny one trying to fit in or the class clown, the shy one, the popular one, the mean one, or the misunderstood one? If she is having problems fitting in, or her interactions with others are a little disturbing, she may need your help. Discuss the situation and see if you can help her solve her dilemma, or at least maybe bring your observations to her attention. It’s often very difficult to see a problem when you’re immersed in it.

Allow girls the opportunity to decide on what occurs in their lives. While most major final decisions will be made by parents, daughters should be allowed to make a case. However, in day to day operations let girls practice making decisions and/or develop a plan for initiating a conversation about whatever they may want. Let them learn to be assertive, take the initiative, and become self-sufficient.

Mothers, in particular, often have a difficult time living with their daughters. This is especially true when they are similar in personality, and more so when they have strong personalities. The good news is that girls with strong personalities will typically not be anyone’s doormat. However, the bad news is that you do have to live with them until they grow up. Which may not be an easy tak! Encourage girls to speak their minds and to speak up for what they believe in. Also encourage girls to learn to listen to those around them and to know when to simply observe. In years past, it was often expected that a woman keep the conversation flowing. Much can be learned by simply listening.

Provide a stable environment for girls to grow up in. One of the disadvantages for more youths today is the fact that there are fewer two-parent homes. Daughters should be exposed to successful adult relationships. This helps provide them with an environment in which to relax after venturing out into the world for the day. A place to recharge their batteries, and provide a sense of well-being in what could be a chaotic existence. Additionally, this lays a foundation for future relationships. Do mom and dad fight fair? How do they rectify their disagreements? Are chores divided up by gender? After all of these years do mom and dad still hold hands and actually converse with each other? These are all things that are witnessed daily.

Love your body and teach girls to love their bodies, and be accepting of their friends’ bodies, as well. Body image is such a taboo in today’s society. While boys often want to DO what their friends are doing, girls typically want to LOOK like their friends. We live in a society where it is not uncommon to hear a perfectly weighted six year old asking if she is overweight. Negative body image in girls can lead to lifelong emotional and physical problems. Parents need to discuss body image, unrealistic weight goals, dieting, and air brushing with their children, but girls, in particular. What’s on the inside is what matters, but girls should be taught to love their entire package – body and soul.

Embrace your daughters. Let them know how much you love them and appreciate having them in your lives. It’s one of the things many people take for granted. Let them know all you want for them in the future, but accept them for who they are right now. Let them know that everyone is a work in progress. It’s the fortunate ones who recognize this fact, and continue to learn their entire lives.

As parents it’s easy to forget that children see what is done, hear what is said and often imitate what they learn. One of the best ways to try to mitigate the outside influences, is by providing girls with strong role models they can look up to and learn from.

While you may currently be tempted to invest in good earplugs for your own ears, duct tape to keep the girls from opening their mouths before they think things through, and have a therapist on speed dial, parents may find some of the above tips useful to help raise girls while maintaining most of their sanity.

Kim Green-Spangler B.S. Ed. is a freelance writer, columnist, research specialist, budding author, wife and mother. She has written hundreds of articles on topics specific to women and moms, exercise enthusiasts, small and home-based business owners and homeschoolers. She can be contacted at www.kspanresearch.com.

“Excuse me? When?” I asked, astonished.

“When you’re asleep,” she replied — and proceeded to describe how, early Saturday mornings, he’d slip a bra over his T-shirt and then jump on our mini-trampoline. She stuck to her tale so adamantly that later that day, I sheepishly asked my schoolteacher husband if he’d ever jokingly held one of my lacy underthings up to his chest (he hadn’t).

We laughed, but I felt unsettled. Lying to avoid punishment or to get an extra piece of pie — that I could understand. But Lillian was lying frequently, for kicks, and she’d never admit that a made-up story wasn’t true. Should I insist on honesty, I wondered, lest she develop into a pathological liar? Or let it slide, to avoid crushing her creativity?

The latter, apparently: The experts I quizzed about Lillian’s tale were unfazed. “There’s nothing wrong with her telling it,” says Michael Brody, M.D., a child psychiatrist in Potomac, Maryland. “Very young kids don’t know the difference between truth and fiction.”

In fact, this type of lying can be a sign of good things. “Preschoolers with higher IQ scores are more likely to lie,” says Angela Crossman, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York, who researched the subject. Early lying proficiency may also be linked with good social skills in adolescence.

Of course, not all kids’ lies are trivial incidents you can just laugh off — and you do want to raise a child who values honesty. Knowing the types of untruths kids tell at each stage, and why, can help you gently guide your own toward a level of truthfulness that’s appropriate for his age.

Toddlers: First Fibs
It’s usually pretty obvious when one of Eric Lutzker’s 2-year-old twin boys, Merce and Jacob, has a dirty diaper. The trick is determining which one. “If you ask them, they’ll each simultaneously say the other’s name,” says the Seattle dad. “They don’t want to go through the rigmarole of a diaper change, so they lie about it.”

Such self-serving fibs are the first kinds of lies many young toddlers try out. As any mom of a toddler or preschooler can tell you, kids as young as 3 — sometimes even 2 — will tell very simple lies, denying they’ve done something or in order to gain something for themselves.

It doesn’t make sense to punish toddlers for truth bending, since they don’t get that what they’re doing is wrong. “If a two-year-old pulls the cat’s tail and says that her imaginary friend did it, the best response is to say, ‘The cat has feelings, too,’ ” says Elizabeth Berger, M.D., a child psychiatrist and author of Raising Kids With Character. “Don’t get into a wrangle to get the child to admit that she was the one.” An even better strategy is to avoid the showdown in the first place. “Rather than asking ‘Did you break the vase?’ say, ‘Look, the vase got broken,’ ” says Dr. Brody. “If you make an angry accusation, you’ll get a lie.”

Preschoolers: Small People, Tall Tales
My daughter’s story about her dad wearing a bra is typical of 3- to 5-year-olds’ freewheeling relationship with reality. This is the age of invisible friends, horned monsters, and talking rainbows. Though she recently outgrew them, 4-year-old Lucy Sterba of El Cerrito, California, basked last year in the companionship of not one, but eight imaginary sisters, each with a name, birth date, and backstory. “The sisters did things Lucy couldn’t do, like wear pink dresses every day,” says her dad, Chris.

Preschoolers’ tall tales can be pure play, or sometimes wishful thinking (Lucy’s pretend sisters never had to eat mushrooms the way Lucy does, her mom notes). And it’s not unusual for young kids to insist, as Lucy did, that their fantasy world is real. “It’s not really a lie,” says Dr. Berger. “What your child indicates when he says ‘He’s real’ is the tremendous colorfulness, prominence, and importance of his imaginary friends.”

If a particular tall tale troubles you, it’s important to keep things in perspective. “If a child seems happy and has realistic relationships with the important people in his life, I would not be worried about his fantasizing. That’s what children did before there was TV,” Dr. Berger says. Remember that what seems outlandish to adults may simply be a child’s way of processing new ideas. After Lucy learned that her grandfather had died before she was born, several of her “sisters” suddenly died, too. “She would talk about it in a very matter-of-fact way,” Sterba says. “Our friends started to joke that there must be an epidemic.”

School kids: They’ve Got Their Reasons
Shea McMahon, 8, and his brother Jack, 6, of Austin, Texas, both denied pilfering their sister’s hospital newborn bracelet from a keepsake box. “I yelled and cajoled and said no Sunday breakfast for either one until they confessed,” says Shannon McMahon. A few minutes later, Jack owned up. But when his mom asked for details, he panicked. “Finally, he admitted, ‘I got nothin’. I just wanted you guys to stop asking,’ ” she says. Then Shea, the real perp, burst into tears.

Jack’s attempt to take the rap for his big brother signals an important developmental step: the ability to tell a white (or “prosocial”) lie — one that benefits someone else or is told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. “It actually shows a bit of social awareness and sensitivity,” says Crossman.

But as Shea’s fib by omission shows, 5- to 8-year-olds also still occasionally resort to the not-so-white lie. Kids this age do so for all sorts of understandable, even forgivable, reasons — for example, they’re afraid of how disappointed you’ll be or the punishment they’ll get, even because they’re pressed beyond their capabilities. (If, say, a kid’s having trouble with math, he might insist he has no math homework.) Before you send your child to his room or take away his TV privileges for the day, try to find out what drove him to lie, and take his reasons into consideration.

Tweens: Growing Fast and Stretching the Truth
When we had a Halloween party for my older daughter, Aurora’s, third-grade class, my husband made up a ghost story about “the rundown house up the block.” At the end, the girls cried, “Can we go see it?” At 9, they’d developed concrete ideas of truth and falsehood but were still naive about the gray area in between.

And speaking of gray areas, tweens are also apt to gloss over details of their lives they once freely spilled about. Don’t be surprised if your child keeps mum about things she would have shared with you a year or two before, like the latest lunch-table gossip. This new secretiveness isn’t dishonesty or a sign that your child is up to anything wrong. In fact, it reflects her growing maturity. “Kids who tell everything to their parents at age thirteen or fourteen are not growing up,” says Dr. Brody.

Of course, as your child gains more independence, he may take advantage of it by pulling a fast one from time to time. When 9-year-old Joey DeMille of San Diego asked his mother to stop “nagging” him about completing his daily reading log, she agreed to back off and let him take responsibility. “For the entire month of January, I didn’t ask him to show me his log,” she says, and Joey swore that he was filling it in daily. But when the time came to turn in the log, his mother was shocked to discover that it was nearly blank. “He had been lying to me all month long!” she says.
An occasional lie about homework, chores, or tooth brushing, while aggravating, is not unusual at this age. The best response usually is to simply express your displeasure. But if a tween lies chronically, he might need professional assistance to sort things out. “Children who are anxious, who feel that they can’t handle some kind of situation, may lie,” says Dr. Berger. “It could be a sign of any number of stresses that the child is under.” It could also be the sign of a smart kid who finds lying a convenient tactic.

The best way to steer your tween toward greater honesty? Set a good example yourself (no fudging his younger brother’s age to get cheaper movie tickets) and talk to him about how lying can damage your credibility and relationships. “It’s the kind of lesson that doesn’t sink in immediately,” says Crossman. What lesson ever does, especially with kids that age? But chances are your child will grow out of his fibbing — and into an honest-to-goodness adult.

Juliette Guilbert, a mother of two, lives near Seattle and is currently working on a book about kids and drug use.

In order to accomplish this task it helps to understand some of the challenges being faced by boys in today’s society.
Everyday Challenges Faced by Boys Today and Ways to Overcome Them
1. Boys are more likely to be medicated to be quiet and less disruptive. According to the National Center for Educational Statistics “boys are four to five times more likely to be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)” than girls. What’s a parent to do?

It is completely natural for boys to be active, loud and unruly with a rough and tumble demeanor. While boys are often referred to as aggressive, the truth is the majority are not. According to Michael Thompson, Ph.D., “all boys have normal aggressive impulses which they learn to control, only a small percentage are overly aggressive and have chronic difficulty controlling those impulses.” In these cases adults should carefully monitor play, however, it should be noted that all loud play should not be considered out of hand play.

The key is to allow time for boy play and set boundaries for acceptable types of play and appropriate settings. For example, it is fine to play hide and seek, but not fine to suggest your brother hide in the dryer, or playing rock star is great, but not during library time on school premises. Adults must be clear about the rules and their expectations and be consistent with their discipline if the rules are broken. Teachers and school administrators should also do what they can to allow time for recess. Children require multiple periods each day performing activities that will help them expel their excess energy, which in turn will allow them to better focus on the tasks presented to them.

2. According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, boys score lower than girls in both grades and homework from elementary school through high school. Additionally, they are 30 percent more likely to flunk or drop out of school. Why do these statistics exist?

With boys being so active, if they are disruptive they are often disciplined by teachers in ways that remove them from their active learning environment. They can then begin to fall behind in their work. Also, research shows that many male students have a kinesthetic (hands-on) learning style preference. Since most school practice visual and auditory methods, those students who thrive in a hands-on environment can get lost and end up frustrated and bored.
Parents and teachers need to work together to make sure boys do not continue to slip through the educational cracks. In addition to providing ways for them to be physically active during the school day, teachers should be allowed and encouraged to vary their teaching styles to include all styles of learning. This will provide equal learning opportunity for all students and hopefully re-ignite the spark in boys. Boys and girls have different interests and their spins on the same story will probably significantly vary. Teachers should encourage creativity and remember to be accepting of the different spins boys can place on topics. Parents and teachers should work together to encourage a love a reading. Reading allows for creativity, imagination, and provides a door to endless possibilities that would otherwise be unknown. Reading can provide boys with the tools they need to corral boredom and reconnect to their educations.

3. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, in 2009 fatal car accidents involving boys occurred nearly three times more frequently than those with girl drivers. Additionally, nearly 75% of all juvenile delinquency is committed by boys, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

It is probably no surprise to parents just how reckless they can be, especially when compared to girls. However these statistics translate into more than just wanting to play Superman with a red cape and a tall structure, or daring a friend to commit some silly act. Boys love the thrill of adventure and excitement. However, it is up to parents to make sure they learn how to safely channel those tendencies. Allow them ample opportunity to race go-karts, ski or snowboard, visit amusement parks, bungee jump, etc. Those activities can offer then same thrill, but in a more controlled environment.

Idle minds and excessive free time provide ample opportunity for boys to get themselves in trouble. Parents should encourage boys to participate in activities that will help them expand their world. Whether the activity is a sport, organized activity like Boy Scouts or Big Brothers, or a learning activity like a school club, or community program like a youth group or church group, programs exist to help boys develop a sense of belonging while keeping them out of trouble.

4. According to the National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH) boys are more likely to successfully commit suicide than girls. The ratios are as follows: 10-14 age range 4:1, in the 15-19 age range 5:1, and the 20-24 age range 7:1. It is the 8th leading cause of death in young males.

Suicide is most often the result of depression. Boys are typically more reluctant to discuss their feelings than girls. Boys are also less likely to form the type of friendships girls develop, in which problems, slights, daily life, dreams, and goals are typically discussed freely.

Parents can educate their boys in becoming emotionally attached to those around them from birth. Demonstrate the value of forming long-lasting friendships and not corking emotions simply because of gender. If boys are shown the benefits of opening up to parents and close friends from a young age, they will likely continue to seek out like-minded cohorts as they mature. Men who can discuss their feelings, demonstrate emotion, recognize and participate in a healthy relationship are less lonely and less apt to get into trouble as they mature.

A Few Tips for Communicating with Boys:

• Boys typically love to solve problems (think of MacGyver.) If a situation is posed as a third-person problem, boys will typically jump at the opportunity to get to the bottom of the problem provided they are given the necessary clues.

• Food! Some of the best conversations often occur in the kitchen, not necessarily at meals times, but during food preparation or when assembling an impromptu midnight snack. Take advantage of opportunities to have a one-on-one eat/talk fest, and he’ll be learning some valuable kitchen skills at the same time.

• Be clear about what you expect and what consequences may result. Boys respect honesty and respect clarity. While they may not enjoy being disciplined, they do respect consistency. They are typically hands-on and seem to respond quite well to hands-on and not passive parenting.

• All children respond to their environments. Provide boys with the opportunity to observe men behaving in a manner you’d like him to emulate one day. Surround him with respectful, industrious, smart, ambitious, friendly gentlemen who are self-confident, emotionally available, and not afraid to be themselves. These role models do not have to be a birth Dad, but can be someone who is trustful, possess the desired qualities, and has a good rapport with the boy.

• Remember that all boys are different and what works for some will not work for all. Compliments them freely, praise their accomplishments and embrace their individuality. The more acceptance they perceive they are receiving, the more open the lines of communication will become.

These are just a small sampling of challenges parents of boys may face. Strong role models, having caring adults to come to with problems, and simply knowing someone is interested in their concerns can do wonders for a young boy’s self-esteem. Boys are very different from girls, and while the nature versus nurture debate still rages, the fact remains that boys are typically very active and noisy, love hands-on games, activities and even school projects, and will probably never care quite as much about their appearance as girls – at least until it is time for them to start liking girls. By accepting their natural tendencies, encouraging their interests, and steering them towards ways to enhance their personal goals while building their self-esteem parents will do much to create a bright future for their sons.

Written By: Kim Green-Spangler B.S. Ed.  Kim is a freelance writer, columnist, research specialist, budding author, wife and mother. She has written hundreds of articles on topics specific to women and moms, exercise enthusiasts, small and home-based business owners and homeschoolers. She can be contacted at www.kspanresearch.com.

As the adults the biological parent and stepparent must determine how they want their household to be run, what type of relationship they are striving for with their stepchildren, and how they will manage to create an environment that allows each child to feel loved, protected, and nurtured by the adults in their lives.

Here are ten tips to help families prepare for blending their families:

1. Blending a family is not an easy process, and will have its ups and downs. It’s understandable for the new couple to want their situation to be a smooth transition, but it would be unrealistic to expect children and spouses to simply become a family unit without a few wrinkles. A traditional family has its good days and bad, has stages of growth where children are less than helpful, and have periods of adjustments in which parents and kids are trying to figure each other out. Given that blended family members have less time in which to get to know each other, parent should let go of expectations and let the process progress at its own natural pace.
2. Communication is vitally important to the success of a blended family. Each family member should feel their concerns will be heard and addressed rationally. Prior to the actual merging of households some guidelines should be established. Protocol for family meetings (both regularly scheduled and emergency ones) should be discussed with each family member. Make sure everyone knows the procedure in advance, and any family members who may not be residing in the household on a full-time basis be kept in the loop. Not only will family members appreciate knowing there is a place for any grievances to be aired, but also that their feelings matter in the new family environment. Allowing situations to go unsolved will only increase frustration, result in resentments and create disharmony.
3. Keep discussions with, comments about and communication between stepparents and biological parents as positive as possible. Many difficulties in blended families result from children feeling torn about their loyalties toward each parent. Providing an environment where conflict can breed and fester is counterproductive to the foundation for a successful blended family.
4. Discipline is typically a huge factor in a blended family. Determining who should discipline which children, which forms of discipline are acceptable in the home, and if decisions regarding punishments should be shared are all things that should be discussed prior to sharing a household. The answers to these considerations may also affect biological parents. Therefore, be sure to keep them apprised of whatever household rules are established. This will eliminate the possibility of surprises down the road for all parties, and hopefully, they can reiterate the differences between what occurs in one house versus the other, or even create matching rules for less confusion for the children.
5. Blended families must create their “own.” Their own new household rules, their own plan for what behaviors are acceptable and not acceptable between the two adults, and their own new traditions. While children may balk at the idea of doing things differently, gathering the new family together to create new rules and traditions is a great way to develop a bond, while keeping each family member apprised of expectations.
6. Dealing with the pressures of merging two households can be very consuming. The new couple should be sure to take time for maintaining and further strengthening their relationship. It’s so easy to get caught up in the daily cycle of family life, but each relationship within the family unit should be nurtured. This is especially true of the relationship between the adults. It’s important for children to see the adults they love in a healthy relationship, for them to understand that the relationship is strong, and for them to realize their parent is happy with their new partner.
7. Space is a very important issue when it comes to blending a family. It’s typically easier to arrange for the new family to move into a new space where they can create their own memories, free from ghosts of the relationship past. However, the most important factor is for everyone to have their own space in the new home. Each family member should be able to get away from the rest of the family in a space where batteries can be recharged, wounds can be soothed, and one can be alone with their thoughts. It’s very difficult to be “on” all the time. Thus, having a space where one can be sad, reflect, or simply exist can be necessary in order to keep the peace within the blended family unit.
8. Don’t force the “family” issue. It will take some time for both children and adults to feel like they are a true family. One of the main causes of discontent lies in determining what stepparents should be called. Short of anything disrespectful the adults should let children decide what they will call their stepparents on their own, in their own time frame. Forcing the issue of “mom” and “dad” could lead to resentment and stifle the bonding process. Not only could children feel like they are being disloyal to biological parents, but it could cause resentments within the household between biological and stepchildren.
9. Parents should never make it easy for children to drive a wedge between the couple. This said, adults should be sure to maintain a united front in front of all children, biological and stepchildren. If there are issues that need to be addresses, parents should do so privately, and present their decision to the children. Adults should also let it be known that children are not to play one member of the blended household or each biological parent against each other, and infractions will result in disciplinary action.
10. Most importantly, members of blended families should remember that feelings of uneasiness, resentfulness, envy, and displacement are completely normal. No one expects them to be saints, but communication is expected to help squelch those feelings. Patience is mandatory, as is being tolerant of individuals placed in a brand new unfamiliar environment. Everyone will have to adjust, find their own place, and claim it as a member of the new family unit.

Blended families are very special. It’s the opportunity for parents to find love again, the chance for family members to build new friendships and even sibling-like relationships, and the opportunity for parents to connect with their children on a different level. Despite the potential for challenging days, it’s something that should be embraced.

If parents are unsure about how to proceed there are a variety of resources available for stepparents and blended families. Local parenting classes can help parents by teaching coping skills through role-playing, and helping parents surmise the stages children may go through when faced with a blended family environment. Family counselors and child psychologists can help parents ease children through this transition. The Step Family Association of America is a great resource for parents looking to create their very own Brady Bunch. However, parents and children should remember that even fictional blended families face daily challenges, and be ready to rise to the task at hand. It probably won’t be easy, but it may be well worth the initial investment of time and effort for a successful blended family.

Kim Green-Spangler is a freelance writer, columnist, research specialist, budding author, wife, mother (and stepparent.) She has written hundreds of articles on topics specific to women and moms, exercise enthusiasts, small and home-based business owners and homeschoolers. She can be contacted at www.justwrite4u.com.

L for a love letter you write to someone special. Whether it’s a spouse, a child, or a dear friend, take some time to write down the reasons they are so special to you. It will be a gift they treasure for a long time.

O for organizing the family photos in a new way. Create a slide show on a DVD, a photo book or calendar, or even a family website where you can share pictures and stories with out-of-town loved ones. You’ll preserve old photos and help create new memories.

V for Valentine cookies like these Chocolate Chip Cookie Hearts. They’re a simple way to share some love. Even the youngest bakers can help make them by pouring ingredients and using cookie cutters to make the heart shapes. Have fun decorating them with pink, red and white icing and Valentine sprinkles.

E for an elegant dessert like this Chocolate Raspberry Mousse Pie. It’s easy enough for anyone to make, yet pretty enough to show off at a Valentine’s Day party or a romantic dinner.

For more Valentine recipes you can share, visit www.verybestbaking.com

Chocolate Chip Cookie Hearts

Prep: 20 minutes

Baking: 18 minutes

(Makes about 18 hearts with 2 1/2- to 3-inch heart cutter)

• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 large eggs
• 2 cups (12-ounce package) Nestlé Toll House Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels
• 1 cup chopped nuts
• Metal or heat-safe heart cookie cutter(s) of desired size(s), 1 inch in height
• Various icings, sprinkles, Nestlé Toll House Semi-Sweet Chocolate Mini Morsels

PREHEAT oven to 375°F. Line 15 x 10-inch jelly-roll pan with foil; lightly grease.

COMBINE flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in morsels and nuts. Spread dough into prepared pan.

BAKE for 18 to 22 minutes or until golden brown. Cool completely in pan on wire rack. Lift from pan with foil handles to cutting board. Cut out hearts with cookie cutter(s). Remove hearts while peeling away foil.

DECORATE as desired.

Chocolate Raspberry Mousse Pie

Prep: 15 minutes, Cooking 5 minutes

Refrigerating: 2 1/2 hours

Yield: 8 servings

• 1 can (12 fluid ounces) Nestlé Carnation Evaporated Milk
• 2 large egg yolks
• 2 cups (12-ounce package) Nestlé Toll House Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels
• 1 container (8 ounces) frozen whipped topping, thawed, divided
• 1 container (6 ounces) chocolate crumb crust

WHISK together evaporated milk and egg yolks in medium saucepan.

HEAT over medium-low heat, stirring constantly, until mixture is very hot and thickens slightly; do not boil. Remove from heat; stir in morsels until completely melted and mixture is smooth. Pour into large bowl. Refrigerate for 30 minutes until cool. Gently stir in 2 cups whipped topping.

REFRIGERATE for 2 hours until thickened. Sprinkle 1 cup raspberries over crust. Spoon chilled chocolate mousse over raspberries. Dollop remaining 1 cup whipped topping on center of pie; top with remaining raspberries.

Photo courtesy of Nestlé

Jenny Harper is Consumer Test Kitchen Project Manager for the Nestlé Test Kitchens and VeryBestBaking.com.

Since 1996, as a developmental and rehabilitative vision specialist, I have worked with hundreds of students with stories like this. Most schoolwork is presented visually yet millions of children have never had a comprehensive eye assessment with an eye care professional. Many have had a screening and been told their vision is fine because they have “20/20 vision.”

However, there is a problem if we equate good eyesight — one eye at a time, looking at a chart across the room — with vision. Clarity of eyesight is just one of many visual abilities that are essential to how well we function in the world and meet the demands of school, work, sports and hobbies.

The standard eye chart for measuring eyesight — the “Snellen” chart — was introduced in the 1860’s. This one-eye-at-a-time, in-the-distance measurement does not measure how well you see using two eyes together at a close reading distance; nor if you have stamina, or visual accuracy and comfort all day long; nor how well you can process and analyze visual information. Can we really rely on a 19th century measurement to assess our readiness to meet 21st century demands?

“Your child may have 20/20 eyesight and still have a vision problem,” says Dr. Lynn Hellerstein, past-president of The College of Optometrists in Vision Development and author of See It, Say It, Do It: The Parent’s and Teacher’s Guide to Creating Successful Students & Confident Kids.

A reader must efficiently integrate many visual abilities to achieve successful fluent reading, including: aiming both eyes at the same point, at the same time; focusing both eyes accurately; sustaining focus at a near-point reading distance while coordinating eye movements across lines of print. If any one of these abilities is not well developed or has broken down from fatigue, stress, or trauma, then vision is not going to be easy, accurate, or comfortable.

If a reader struggles with eye control, comprehension suffers. Some students will compensate, knowing they have to reread the material to understand it. Others give up.

Students with undiagnosed vision problems exhibit a wide range of behaviors and symptoms that can be mistakenly attributed to other causes. Attention problems, frustration, headaches, stomachaches, difficulty learning to read, skipping lines or words, or not working up to their potential are just a few of the symptoms of vision problems.

Symptoms of Vision Problems

• Difficulty with reading
• Short attention span
• Easily distracted
• Reads slowly
• Poor comprehension
• Skips words
• Confuses, forgets or reverses letters, numbers or words
• Moves head closer or farther from near work
• Print comes in and out of focus
• Print runs together or jumps around
• Eyes tire or hurt after reading
• Light sensitivity
• Headaches
• Closes or covers one eye
• Frustration

Children rarely talk about having a problem with their vision. The print might go in and out of focus or words might appear to move on the page, but because they cannot compare their vision to anyone else, they may assume that how they see is the way everyone sees.

How many students have gone through their school years never able to fully meet their potential? Who have had to work harder they should? Who have given up? Several states have recognized the critical link between vision and school success and require a professional vision evaluations.

Clear eyesight and good eye health are at the foundation of visual readiness for school but other critical visual abilities can be assessed and ruled out or revealed as an underlying cause of a reading problem. Information and research studies are available to help parents and educators understand the profound impact hidden eye problems can have on school success. The visual demands of schoolwork can be daunting for the student with undetected vision problems. Do you know the signs and symptoms of when a reading problem could really be a vision problem?

Penelope Youngfeather, MS, COVT has a Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Special Education. She is a certified optometric vision therapist serving students of all ages and is the Director of the Lifetime Eye Care Vision Therapy Center in Eugene and can be reached at LifetimeEyeCare.net.

Resources for More Information

College of Optometrists in Vision Development
covd.org

Parents Active for Vision Education
PaveVision.org

Nebraska Foundation for Children’s Vision
nechildrensvision.org

Optometric Extension Program Foundation
oepf.org

Optometrists Network
Optometrists.org

Lifetime Eye Care
LifetimeEyeCare.net

Most children have more than what their parents had when they were growing up.  While it can be argued that parents today are wealthier than their parents were, it can be further argued that societal changes and expectations are also prime culprits.  Depending on the age of the parent, some remember growing up with black and white televisions and radios for entertainment.   As children, most parents of today did not have cell phones, computers of any kind, iPods, electronic games, or social media access.

Many argue that the “personal” aspect of many of the gadgets seems to automatically compel parents to purchase, or kids to expect that they should have their own goodies.  Think of the ”personal” computer, the laptop (big enough for a single “lap” at a time), the cell phone that can be personalized with skins, cases, charms, etc., and the games purchased for children as young as toddlers, complete with their own set of preferred content.  Once upon a time ago (Okay, just a generation or so, ago) there was a lot more sharing going on.  Children knew they had to work hard and save up if they wanted something specific to their own interests.  Parents couldn’t afford to drop $250 for a new phone for the holidays, or $150 per child for a personal game.  Times have changed and so have the expectations of those most impressionable.

The Pitfalls

Children with entitlement issues will eventually grow up and become adults with entitlement issues.  If money is not an issue for the individual, it may be less of a problem.  However, if entitlement is coupled with disdain for those working hard to make their way in life, (as is the case with a false sense of entitlement) it could be construed as snobbishness or arrogance.  Imagine the surprise or lack of preparedness should money suddenly become an issue.  These adults would be unable regroup and pull themselves up by the bootstraps.  They would find it difficult to do what would be necessary to earn a living by whatever means needed.

In a successful venture, there are roles that everyone must fill.  In a business, if a vacancy exists, the other partners or employees must pick up the slack in order to keep things running smoothly.  The flip side of that can be likened to the old adage about “too many cooks spoiling the broth.” Well, those individuals with entitlement issues can weaken the economy for the entire nation.  If someone feels they should not have to do any extra work, even if there is a need for it, or refuses to take an entry level job because they feel they should be starting at the top of the pay scale, those jobs are not being performed. The result can be disastrous.

Prevention

Due to commercials, peer pressure, a little parental enthusiasm to give children the things they didn’t have in their own childhood, and just human nature, it’s easy to see how children simply want what they want when they want it.  Sometimes it’s even difficult for adults to contain their enthusiasm for new games, movies, and gadgets. (Remember the long lines for the last iPhone release?) However, here are a few tips for helping children stay grounded in order to become mature responsible adults.

• If possible take advantage of Take Your Child to Work days.  Children often cannot understand exactly what mom and dad do when they go off to “work.”  Let them see firsthand exactly what is done, the number of people interacted with daily, the fact that mom and/or dad has to answer to others, and how mom and dad treat the people who answer to them.  Let them see what is done to earn the income that supplies their goods.
• Let children know how much the latest “it” item costs, and how many hours of work it will take to earn the funds for it.  If they’ve gone to work with the parent, they should be able to equate three hours of work for the pair of jeans, or a days’ work for a new cell phone.
• Put them to work! Instead of buying what they want, or handing over the credit card, make them earn the money the “good ol’ fashioned” way. (This is not an instance where allowance should be utilized!) Growing up we did not get allowance in my household, but we were sure expected to contribute.  The understanding was that if we lived there, we should do our share to keep the household running. However, those things done above and beyond what was expected, was typically rewarded.  For example, if dishes were the daily chore compensation would not be expected or doled out.  Washing the car or taking down the curtains to wash them and re-hanging them would result in compensation.
• Make them save for what they would like to purchase using any funds they might come into on their own.  This is a great use for birthday and holiday money, allowance (if given), or any money earned through employment or extra chores.

Recovery

Don’t despair if a child is already exhibiting signs of entitlement, there is hope.  Here are a few ways to bring him or her back to reality:

• Learn to say NO! – As parents it’s completely natural to want to make things easier for one’s offspring.  However, hearing the word no is completely healthy and can be a sobering experience to someone used to getting his/her own way. The average person does not get through adulthood with everyone agreeing to whatever they want, no matter who they are.  Thus, a few “No’s” uttered now, may result in a much needed wake up call.
• Get their own J-O-B! – Many parents today try to maximize the time their kids have for schoolwork and extracurricular activities by not pressuring them to get jobs.  This is despite the fact that many of those parents began working as soon as they were able with paper routes, in supermarkets, and in retail as soon as they were old enough.  If older children are displaying entitlement tendencies, approve a part-time job with a set maximum number of hours.  This should help the child realize the effort involved in earning.
• Make them save for it! – If a job is unrealistic, parents should sit down and discuss with the child their new policy on the acquisition of goods, and let the child know that items above and beyond what they consider fair will have to be earned through chores, or saved up for by the child.  Not only will the child learn to budget their money better, but will also learn that immediate gratification is not the norm, and often after time to mull it over, the coveted item may not be that important or necessary.

Let’s face it; the majority of parents today are working hard to provide their children with opportunities that will build a solid foundation for a successful future.  As parents it makes perfect sense to want better opportunities like good schools, nice neighborhoods, stylish clothes, pocket money, and fun activities.  Especially the items that make kids feel more comfortable around their peers and can smooth the way to help them fit in.  However, parents are doing such a good job and making it seem so easy, that children are not recognizing the hard work and sacrifices parents are putting into these efforts.  As children mature, parents should let them know there is not a money tree growing in the yard. Reiterate that the lottery was not won.  Discuss how much time and effort was put into attaining those career goals that allow them the privilege of living well.

The key is to let children see that hard work is the tool used to get the things one wants.  It doesn’t matter what it is, if effort is not put into something, most things are not worth having.  The old saying, “you get what you pay for”, is true.  However, in this day and age, “you get what you work for” should be coined. (Excusing the pun!)

Kim Green-Spangler, B.S. Ed and M.S. Eng, is a freelance writer, wife and mother. Her niche is writing articles pertaining to family life, health, fitness, parenting and home based businesses. She may be contacted through www.justwrite4u.com.