Skip to main content

When & Why You Should Ignore Your Child

11/02/2017 19:41 ● Published by Sandy Kauten

Before becoming a parent myself, I worked at a non-profit that delivered one-on-one mental health support services. I worked with children with severe behavior disorders, & I worked with families who were at their wit’s end. I had many strategies in my therapeutic toolbox, but there was one particular strategy that I used daily.

Ignore...

This is such a simple strategy that anyone can implement. Ignore certain behaviors, & they will lessen…

 If your child’s classmate is picking on them, let them know that they can ignore them.
 
If you already told your child 5 times that they could not have another cookie, ignore them.
 
If your child is using a whiny voice, ignore them.
 
If they are yelling to get your attention, ignore them.

But… when & why you are ignoring behavior is very important!

Don’t Ignore Everything...

Of course, there are certain behaviors that you are not going to want to ignore, like physical aggression. You do not want to ignore your child when they genuinely need you. Oftentimes, ignoring is a strategy to be used when the child is attention-seeking in an inappropriate way. You can also teach your children to use this same tactic to stay out of situations with their peers – you can ignore your friend who is trying to distract you during class, or you can ignore the student who is goofing off when they shouldn’t be.

Let Your Children Know What You’re Doing...

You don’t want to simply ignore your child without them understanding what’s going on; this will only escalate the situation. Instead, be sure that the child understands how they can get your attention again:

“I am going to ignore you until you can talk nicer to me.”

“I am going to ignore you until you use a big boy voice instead of a whine.”

“I already answered your question about the cookie. I am going to ignore you until you’re ready to talk about something else.”

Encourage Positive Behavior...

The other key to this tactic is that you will need to encourage the behavior that you want & find the underlying reasons for the acting out behaviors. Give your child plenty of attention when they are being sweet & kind & calm. Talk about issues calmly that may be upsetting them. Make sure that they feel heard. Otherwise, the attention-seeking behaviors will continue despite the ignoring b/c you are not resolving the underlying issues outside of the heated moments.

Ignoring behavior may seem like you are condoning it, but since so much behavior is attention-seeking at its root, you are actually discouraging the behavior by not giving it any attention. It’s not fun to throw a tantrum if no one is there to watch. It’s not fun to whine if no one is there to annoy.

Adding this strategy to your parenting toolbox can be very helpful, whether you are in the midst of the toddler or teen years. It is about ignoring the negative behavior & rewarding the positive behavior – simple concepts that can make a big difference!

Shari Medini is a content creator & consultant living in Lititz, PA with her husband & two little boys. Shari has built & runs multiple online businesses including the parenting website AdoreThem.com. You can get to know her better through her social media accounts: @ShariMedini

Kids, Parenting, In Print, Today, Today discipline time out bad behavior
  • Aloha Friday

    11/17/2017
    05:00PM — 08:00PM

    Next Aloha Friday is November 17 at Whirled Pies, 199 W. 8th in Eugene. Social Hour, 5:00-6:00...


  • Holiday Market

    11/18/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Saturday Market’s Holiday Market takes the best things about the Saturday Market, bringing them i...


  • GO DUCKS! Weekends

    11/18/2017
    11:00AM — 05:00PM

    One campus. Two museums. Free admission. The Museum of Natural and Cultural History and the Jorda...


  • Free Kids Table Tennis

    11/18/2017
    04:45PM

    Free Table Tennis for kids at the Eugene Table Tennis Club. Every Tuesday and Thursday. 4:45-6:15...


  • Holiday Market

    11/19/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Saturday Market’s Holiday Market takes the best things about the Saturday Market, bringing them i...


  • GO DUCKS! Weekends

    11/19/2017
    11:00AM — 05:00PM

    One campus. Two museums. Free admission. The Museum of Natural and Cultural History and the Jorda...


  • Animal Adventures

    11/20/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Enjoy outside nature play in our Learnscape plus pre-school crafts and stories. Rain or shine! In...


  • Free Kids Table Tennis

    11/21/2017
    04:45PM

    Free Table Tennis for kids at the Eugene Table Tennis Club. Every Tuesday and Thursday. 4:45-6:15...


  • PreSchool & Lapsit Storytimes

    11/22/2017
    10:00AM — 10:30PM

    Every Wednesday at 10:00am we have two storytimes in the children's area of the library. To the l...


  • Free Kids Table Tennis

    11/23/2017
    04:45PM

    Free Table Tennis for kids at the Eugene Table Tennis Club. Every Tuesday and Thursday. 4:45-6:15...


  • Aloha Friday

    11/17/2017
    05:00PM — 08:00PM

    Next Aloha Friday is November 17 at Whirled Pies, 199 W. 8th in Eugene. Social Hour, 5:00-6:00...


  • Holiday Market

    11/18/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Saturday Market’s Holiday Market takes the best things about the Saturday Market, bringing them i...


  • GO DUCKS! Weekends

    11/18/2017
    11:00AM — 05:00PM

    One campus. Two museums. Free admission. The Museum of Natural and Cultural History and the Jorda...


  • Free Kids Table Tennis

    11/18/2017
    04:45PM

    Free Table Tennis for kids at the Eugene Table Tennis Club. Every Tuesday and Thursday. 4:45-6:15...


  • Holiday Market

    11/19/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Saturday Market’s Holiday Market takes the best things about the Saturday Market, bringing them i...


  • GO DUCKS! Weekends

    11/19/2017
    11:00AM — 05:00PM

    One campus. Two museums. Free admission. The Museum of Natural and Cultural History and the Jorda...


  • Animal Adventures

    11/20/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Enjoy outside nature play in our Learnscape plus pre-school crafts and stories. Rain or shine! In...


  • Free Kids Table Tennis

    11/21/2017
    04:45PM

    Free Table Tennis for kids at the Eugene Table Tennis Club. Every Tuesday and Thursday. 4:45-6:15...


  • PreSchool & Lapsit Storytimes

    11/22/2017
    10:00AM — 10:30PM

    Every Wednesday at 10:00am we have two storytimes in the children's area of the library. To the l...


  • Free Kids Table Tennis

    11/23/2017
    04:45PM

    Free Table Tennis for kids at the Eugene Table Tennis Club. Every Tuesday and Thursday. 4:45-6:15...


  • Holiday Market

    11/25/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Saturday Market’s Holiday Market takes the best things about the Saturday Market, bringing them i...


  • GO DUCKS! Weekends

    11/25/2017
    11:00AM — 05:00PM

    One campus. Two museums. Free admission. The Museum of Natural and Cultural History and the Jorda...


  • Small Business Saturday

    11/25/2017
    11:00AM — 05:00PM

    Want to make a difference with your holiday shopping? Every purchase at Past and Presents, the mu...


  • Free Kids Table Tennis

    11/25/2017
    04:45PM

    Free Table Tennis for kids at the Eugene Table Tennis Club. Every Tuesday and Thursday. 4:45-6:15...


  • Holiday Market

    11/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    Saturday Market’s Holiday Market takes the best things about the Saturday Market, bringing them i...


  • GO DUCKS! Weekends

    11/26/2017
    11:00AM — 05:00PM

    One campus. Two museums. Free admission. The Museum of Natural and Cultural History and the Jorda...


  • Free Kids Table Tennis

    11/28/2017
    04:45PM

    Free Table Tennis for kids at the Eugene Table Tennis Club. Every Tuesday and Thursday. 4:45-6:15...


  • PreSchool & Lapsit Storytimes

    11/29/2017
    10:00AM — 10:30PM

    Every Wednesday at 10:00am we have two storytimes in the children's area of the library. To the l...


  • Free Kids Table Tennis

    11/30/2017
    04:45PM

    Free Table Tennis for kids at the Eugene Table Tennis Club. Every Tuesday and Thursday. 4:45-6:15...


  • Free First Friday at the Museum

    12/01/2017
    11:00AM — 05:00PM

    The Museum of Natural and Cultural History offers free admission on the first Friday of the month...


  • 16th Annual Nativity Display

    12/01/2017
    05:00PM — 09:00PM

    More than 1,000 Nativities will be on display for the 16th annual Creche Exhibit, hosted by The C...


  • Singin' In The Rain

    12/01/2017
    07:30PM — 10:00PM

    You remember the plot! You love the characters! You know “the song”! You’ll adore the sparkling, ...


 

 January 2017 Education Guide

NEW!! Coming in Sept / Oct 2017!!!

 

Weekly Recipes